Tuesday 9 July 2019


Hell's Angels - A Howard Hughes Production (1930) -A silent  at heart.

 Tarzan the Ape Man (1932)  - I don't get movie Tarzan.

Sullivan's Travels   (1941   -  B/W)-  Sturges  forgets to focus on some   of  his own jokes,  i.e. a hanging  corpse   cameo.

Public     Enemy  (1931),  Little Caesar (1931),  Petrified Forest   (1936),   Angels  with  Dirty Faces  (1937), Guncrazy  (1949),  White  Heat  (1949), The Asphalt  Jungle   (1950)  -  all noir.  Admired bits, but  not my thing.

Elephant Boy (1937 -  B/W)- Pioneering but  cruel-to-animals travelogue.

The Inspector General (1949) - Danny Kaye period bafflement though the ghost  number is memorable.

THE ADVENTURES OF JANE (1949  - B/W)-   Mild cheesecake  with  the  original   comic's  model,   Christabel Leighton-Porter,  now  middle-aged.

The Tattooed Stranger (1950 - B/W)  -     Middling NY noir.

The Inspector (1962)  -   Turgid  post-Exodus melodramawith Stephen Boyd,Sr.Dolores  Hart and  Arab Harry Andrews.

The Ugly American (1963)- Idiotic Brando preachiness in not-Nam.

Naked Kiss (1964-  B/W)- Fuller does  softporn.

The System (1964 -  B/W) -  Finally  finished this.  Basically  the  Damned without the nuke-children, but Reed is brilliant as always.   Basically given a followup  by Winner  as the messy I'll Never Forget Whats'isname    (1967)

Ensign Pulver  (1964) - Who thought Robert Walker Jr.'d be a  star?

Flight  of   the Phoenix (1965)-  Submerged  in  its own length.

The Boy Cried Murder (1966)- Cheap, sub-ITC/CFF   Clemensia.  Baffling end.

The Last of the Secret Agents? (1966) -  Dire sub-Elvis spy spoof starring  sub-crooner  Steve  Rossi and Marty  Morrissey-alike Marty  Allen Ok.ru.

Who's That Knocking at My Door (1967)  -    Scorsese   B/W sub-porn  art-twaddle.

The Caper of the Golden Bulls (1967)-   Idiotic   Stephen  Boyd caper.

Tony Rome (1967) -   Telly-like Sinatra nepotism heavy actioner.

Rocket  to the Moon (1967)- Lush by  Towers standards  but basic comedy.   Rocket doesn't  even  leave Earth.

Kill a Dragon (1967) - Hong Kong  based  DocSavagery with Jack Palance. One of the worst  post-Bond  actioners.  Ok.ru

Madigan's Millions (1967)-  Sub-Shadows-Soundtracked   Eurospy "comedy". You'd  never know Dustin  Hoffman'd  be  a star.

Hot Rods to Hell  (1967) - Desperate attempt to  combine heart-searing family melodrama and juvenile delinquency.

Head (1968)- Surreal   bollocks, nice music.

Only When I Larf (1968) - Obnoxious    nutty hijack.  Ok.ru

The    Secret of Santa Vittoria  (1969) -Overlong  Italian  flimsy  whimsy.

Take the Money and Run (1969) - Televisual, but  it was made by ABC.

Riot (1969)  -  Depressing Jim Brown   prison flick.  Gene  Hackman and Brown reunited from
The Split  (1968) -   Workmanlike   Westlake adap with an insane  cast  by Gordon Flemyng, the man  behind   ze  Dalek films. Ok.ru

Pendulum (1969)- Dull Peppardsploitation.  Ok.ru-Tried  the very-TV like P.J.  (1968),  which felt outdated yet trying to  be hip  and  sexist,  and the  Harold Robbins-esque  The Third Day (1965)

Generation (1969)-   Idiotic David  Janssen gap-com.

Alice's Restaurant (1970) -   Beckinsale-alike   Arlo Guthrie cooks up  a plate of  hippie shite.

Something for Everyone (1970)  - Airless  Michael York/Angela Lansbury juvenile Austrocaper.

The Angel Levine  (1971) -   Preachy ecumenical  psychedelia. Free US holiday  for  Milo O'Shea.

The Christian Licorice Store  (1971)-  Post-Love Story  tennis tosh.
See also Your Three Minutes Are Up (1973).

The Sandpit Generals  (1971)   -    AIP     South   American  youth   rally.

Suppose They Gave a War an Nobody Came? (1971)   - Dreadful Tony Curtis saggy M*A*S*H.

Pulp  (1972) - Never knows  what  it  is,  despite  Caine at  his coolest.

X, Y and Zee (1972)   -   Caine  and  Taylor in   domestic hell.

Le Grand Blond Avec Une Chaussure Noire (1972)-   A  key title in baffling French comedy.Rewatch

I Want What I Want (1972) - Early transgender film,  tawdry and  confused.  40-odd Anne  Heywood cast  as a  twentysomething  MTF, in her  pre-transition form looks  like   the  Freak  from  Prisoner Cell Block H.

Play It As It Lays (1972) -Overarty exploit/exploration of   Tuesday  Weld. 

Hit! (1973)-  Lushly  produced but tedious  Billy Dee  Williams/Richard  Pryor. Who wants  a 2 1/2 hour blaxploitation?

Save the  Tiger (1973)-  Probably  too young   to get such a middle-age tale.

Steelyard Blues (1973)-  All-star mess.

Crazy Joe (1974) -  DeLaurentiis   true-life schlock, Peter Boyle as a Mafioso.    Fred  Williamson wears a hairnet. New   York shot by Italians   looks like   Italy.

Bank Shot (1974)  -George C. Scott tries goofball  comedy and  fails.  A  semi-sequel to ze smug  The Hot Rock (1972)

Busting  (1974)/Freebie and the Bean  (1974)-  Dopey, obnoxious copshows.  Ok.ru

Mame   (1974) - Sheesh,just an excuse  for Lucy's wigs.

Tough  (1974) - Preachy  African-American  Christian Children's Film  Foundation.

The     Wrestler (1974) - A half-hearted Ed Asner docudrama produced by  Dave Friedman.

NEWMAN'S LAW (1974)-  Why was this faux-blaxploitation Peppardier  released   in cinemas?

Return  to Macon  County (1975)-  Sub-American  Graffiti  non-sequel.

Uptown Saturday night  (1974)/LETS DO IT AGAIN (1975)/ A Piece Of The Action (1977) -  Samey Cosby/Potter sub-Sting.An  all-star   lineup of  black talent  from Harold  Nicholas and Billy   Eckstine to Johnny  Sekka and Calvin Lockhart.    Was Roscoe  Lee  Browne  the black   Freddie  Jones?

Lady   Snowblood   II (1974)-   The pseudo-Victorian setting  adds   something to a typical samuraier.

Mussolini: The Last Act (1975) -    Slow, meandering, despite Steiger,  Nero,  Fonda as a cardinal.

Friday Foster (1975) -  Dull  Pam Grier comic strip.

Mahogany (1975) -   Diana  Ross  and  Billy Dee Williams  in   a  blaxploitation  take on Susann-Robbins-Sheldon pornographic  muzak. The  worst film my uncle Gibby has ever  seen.

Give 'em Hell, Harry! (1975) -   Was this devised  to feel like  a  Saturday  Live sketch?

 That Lady from Peking (1975) -   Rough Aussie spy thing  made  in  1969, understandably  delayed, by which time   bit-parter Jack Thompson    had  become one  of Australia's biggest stars.

Funeral  for an  Assassin (1975) - Apartheid actioner. Vic Morrow  probably  assumed blacking up  in disguise would be the worst thing to happen to him  in  front  of camera.   Sadly, he   was wrong.

Whiffs (1975) - EejityElliot Gould  military-com. Ok.ru.

Ebony, Ivory & Jade  (1976)- Dull faux-Hong  Kong  Olympic prison girls gash.

A Small Town In Texas (1976)    -    AIP  hillbilly tosh.

The Passover  Plot  (1976)- Cannon  presents the   Bible    via conspiracy theory. Despite strong  British character  support, Zalman King maybe  the  worst  Jesus,  portrayed as  an  Elvis/Diana/Andy Kaufman  figure.     Ok.ru

Black Oak Conspiracy (1977) -  Yokel  action fluff.

The Black     Pearl  (1977)  - Juvenile adventure  nonsense padded out by undersea footage. Ok.ru.

World's Greatest Lover (1977)  - Trite Gene Wilder  vehicle.

Nunzio  (1978) - Sweetly  twee  fable of   a special needs Superman,  with Joe  Spinell as  friendly  neighbour.

Who'll Stop the Rain  (1978) - Kitchen sink dirgirisation of Vietnam  vigilantesploitation.  Ok.ru

The One and Only (1978) -   Carl  Reiner tries and fails to turn Henry Winkler into  Steve Martin.

Chilly  Scenes of Winter (1979)  -   Exactly  what it  says on the tin.

A Touch of the Sun (1979)  - A NASA-themed British-Zambian sexcom,  starring   Oliver     Reed, PeterCushing,   Keenan  Wynn, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Bruce  Boa, and  Melvyn Hayes as a camp Tarzan?   So  awful  it never   got a  proper release.

Buffet  Froid (1979)-Attractively shot but  rather languid  Depardieu gangster pic.   Ok.ru

Portrait of a Hitman (1979)   -  Dumpy actioner  that    never  got a proper release despite  an  insane  cast (Jack   Palance,  Rod  Steiger ,  Richard  Roundtree). Ann Turkel  plays Palance's art-model/strange-lover. It  gets  confusing,  as Herb Jeffries,  the Duke  Ellington   Band singer/Bronze   Buckaroo appears, and looks  like  Steiger  with a  tan   (Jeffries  was half-Sicilian,  with some distant  Arab/Ethiopian blood, but because Sicilians had been under Jim  Crow laws  due to "one drop" complications amongst  various   other matters,  Jeffries became the   first black  singing cowboy).

Radio On (1979- B/W)- Accurately captures the despair of  a UK roadtrip.

Used   Cars   (1980) - Did  Zemeckis  intend  to make a  Hal Needham fan-film?

 Rollover (1981)-  Dreadful Arab-financial nonsense with Kris Kristofferson miscast as a NYC  establishment   pre-yuppie businessman. Ok.ru

Buddy Buddy  (1981)-Idiotic quasiFrench  Billy Wilder  swansong.

King Of The Mountain (1981)  - Nothingy LA  racer.

 Ladies and Gentlemen: The Fabulous Stains (1981)  -  Wellmade but obnoxious Canadian punk odyssey with Diane Lane, Laura  Dern and Ray Winstone.

Missing    (1982)  -    Soft-focus preaching  against Pinochet. Ok.ru

The  Naked Face    (1983)  - Godawful,  beige  Cannon-Sydney Sheldon-Bryan Forbes thriller.Has Roger Moore shouting "Bastards!".

Compromising Positions (1985)-    Very TVM-like Susan Sarandon vehicle.

Shaker Run (1985) -Beigey  NZ chaser-actioner with Cliff Robertson,Lisa Harrow,  Leif Garrett and Shane Briant.

Jakarta (1988)- Middling Troma   Indonesian  actioner.

Firehead  (1991) - Rubbishy  faux-Soviet action.

1 comment:

  1. I know your ambition is to watch every film ever made, but you would be forgiven for skipping Mame. Unless you wanted to find out if Bea Arthur's singing voice was even deeper and more gravelly than Lucille Ball's (it's a tie).

    Kevin Hart would kill to have a scene as funny as the out of control car bit in Mahogany in one of his films.