Tuesday 25 June 2019


The Adventures Of Prince Achmed (1926) - Art not a film.

The Viking (1931- B/W) -Canadian semi-sound docudrama on  a steamship by George Melford.

Damaged Lives (1933 - B/W)  - EdgarUlmer VD propaganda from Canada.

Secrets of Chinatown (1935)-  Another Can-quota quickie, full of ridiculous characters in boot polish.

Cabin in the Sky (1943-  B/W)  - African-American revue with a  celestial theme.

It Happened Tomorrow (1944- B/W)- Forgettable DickPowell period precursor  to fogetttable 90s God-show EarlyEdition.

Between Two Worlds (1944 - B/W)- John Garfield, Paul Henreid, Eleanor Parker, Sydney Greenstreet, Edmund Gwenn  and George Coulouris in  a slushy shipboard  melodrama  that ultimately  is  about foregoing the  Afterlife  for  the  Blitz. Ok.ru

A Thousand And One Nights (1945)- Starring Phil Silvers as Ali Bongo!

WonderMan (1945)-Sentimental  tosh, but Danny Kaye is so  pleasingly odd at times. Ok.ru

"WAKE UP AND DREAM" (1946) - Forgettable Fox colour musical. Ok.ru.

Dick Tracy vs. Cueball (1946-B/W) Dick Tracy's Dilemma (1947- B/W)/Dick Tracy Meets Gruesome (1947 - B/W)- Interchangeable  things with bull-headed,unexciting gangsters.

WhisperingCity(1947 -  B/W) -  Tiresome Quebec noir with  Paul Lukas.

Bush Pilot (1947)-  Starring  Jack LaRue and future  Rentayank Austin Willis, notable  only  actual Canadian  bushland locations.

All the King's Men (1949 - B/W) - Yokel politics.

The Magic Box  (1951) - All star Festival of Britain exhibit.

Treasure Island (1950)-  Generic  but coloured.Non-Disney sequel Long John Silver (1954) is slihly more interesting,  being  an early  Aussie movie.

Prehistoric Women (1950) - Oddly-coloured Eagle-Lion chastesexploitation gash.

THIEF OF DAMASCUS, (1952) - Why Normans in Syria? Why is Chaney Jr Sinbad?

Flight To Tangier (1953)- Jack Palance   and Joan Fontaine in Dragnet with gendarmes.

THIS ISLAND EARTH (1954)   - Colourful but narratively plain, though  both  Metalunans are  nicely uncanny.

Princess Of The Nile (1954) - Arabs vs Egyptians nonsense.Sub-Montezian antics.

Ulysses  (1954) -  Despite Kirk Douglas and Anthony Quinn,  just an average peplum.

Jungle Moon Men (1955  - B/W)- Jungle Johnny Weissmuller enacts She badly.

I've Lived Before (1956- B/W) - Reincarnated war gubbins with Jock Mahoney.

The  Invisible Boy(1957 - B/W) - Sub-CFF  larks notableonly for Robbie the Robot.

Wolf  Dog (1958 - b/w) - More   early Canadian cinema. Dull widescreen modern  oater/sub-Lassie  with Jim Davis.

Portrait in Black (1960)  - Samey Lana Turner  thriller, an excuse for  dress  changes not plot.

Scent of  Mystery (1960)-  Apart  from action  hero Denholm Elliot vs Leo McKern, a pedestrian thriller  made for Cinerama/Odorama. Ok.ru.

Man on   a   String (1960-  B/W)-   Boring Borgnine  spy melodrama. Extensively ok.rued.

Blast of Silence (1961- B/W)  - Boring,semi-amateur noir.

The Big Gamble  (1961)   -  Stephen  Boyd, Juliette Greco and David Wayne  star  in what ends up as a   taxing   Oirish semi-comedic Wages  of   Fear, but begins  with  nice bits  of  60s  Dublin. Ok.rued extensively.

Romanoff And Juliet (1961) - Soppy  mittel-european romantifarce by  Ustinov  doing silly  accents, dubbing the entire UN.

Secret Ways (1961 - B/W)- I didn't think an Alistair MacLean-Euan Lloyd  teamup'd  be  this miserable.

 Pocketful of Miracles (1961)-Sentimental Capra, run out of steam.

 The Notorious Landlady (1962 - B/W)  -   Sub-Wilder cavalcade of dodgy Englishness.

Gone Are the Days! aka Purlie Victorious (1963)- Ossie Davis' black hicksploitation  "comedy".

Dear Brigitte (1965)- Sub-Disney mawk. Billy Mumy is  obsessed with Bardot, so da Jimmy Stewart brings him to France and Brigitte gives him a dog. OK.RU

Lord Love a Duck (1966 - B/W)  - Baffling middle-aged teen  comedy,  either a teen  comedy or a parody of them.
Treasure of SanGennaro (1966) - Forgettable Italian  heist comedy.

The Chase  (1966)   -Turgid all-star convict flop.

Rage (1966)- An interesting but rough-hewn TV-level modern Mexican rabies-western starring Glenn Ford.

Blindfold (1966)- Silly, stagey  NYC/Everglades Uni  thriller with  Rock Hudson,  Claudia Cardinale and Jack  Warden. It is almost  approaching  Batman-level camp. Extensively ok.rued.

A  Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966) - A mess. Mostel (basically doing Bialystock),   Silvers, Gilford  and Keaton's styles clash with the Brits.

Not with My Wife, You Don't (1966)-  Godawful Curtis-Scott How To  Murder Your Wife-alike set in  afake UK   with fake BBC. Partly animated.OK.RU

Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round (1966) Ok.rued another   tedious heist. Maybe I am  a  completist.

The Busy Body (1967) -  Terrible attempt  by WilliamCastle at  mainstream  comedy.OK.RU.

The  Venetian Affair  (1967) -  Interesting   though  kind of turgid attempt   to  do  a  less-silly US spy  film,  Robert  Vaughn as a  Harry  Palmer-type.  With Boris   Karloff,Elke Sommer, Karl  Boehm,   Lucianna Paluzzi and Ed Asner. Ok.ru.

Enter Laughing (1967)- Another 60s  comedy about an annoying young man. Reiner is overrated.

Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mamma's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' So Sad (1968) - Great title, but horrible film.

The  Impossible  Years (1968) - David  Niven hippie  youth idiocy.

Uptight (1968)-  Black Adap of the Informer,  better than Ford.

Madwoman of Chaillot (1969)- A discovery.  Long presumed  this as  a bawdy  period farce, but no, it is a hi-tech satire,  a distaff   Magic Christian.

Don't Drink the Water (1969) - Awful Woody  Allen-written stage  farce adapted with Jackie Gleason. European setting is restricted  to a  few days in Montreal and studios in Florida. Has some uneasy Woody Allen perviness with  the teenage daughter. The fictional country is "Vulgaria" (is this a sequel to Chitty Chitty  Bang Bang), but since Baron Bomburst was deposed, there has been a widespread shift to Islam. OK.RU

The Comic (1969) - Cloying, sentimental, grating Carl Reiner-Dick van Dyke silent  tribute. Van Dyke appears in unconvincing old age makeup.

Me, Natalie (1969) - Like Jeremy (1973), a  NooYawk coming  to age with an   annoying lead.

Army of Shadows (1969) - I don't get  Melville. Slow and deliberate.
Also ok.rued Le Samourai (1967)  and Le  Cercle Rouge (1970).

Start the Revolution Without Me (1970) - "Wilding" and  "Sunderland" (in Grandadese) enact something that  isn't a spoof, just a typical light swashbuckler. OK.RU

Rebel  (1970)-  Salvaging of  an early   Stallone film  a la Medium Cool = bellydancing.
See  also The Swap (1979), an  unfinished  pre-Golan Cannon  film with Robert DeNiro pilfered,  mere  seconds  of Bobby  to  support  an uninteresting, cack-handed new  story  with Sybil   Danning and Jennifer  Warren as the same character.

The  Ear(1970)  - Unfeeling,   cold  Barrandov espionage.

Joe   (1970) - Peter  Boyle moans  about hippies.
Minnie and Moskowitz (1971)-   Not quite my thing, but hey,  Timothy Carey!

Walkabout  (1971)- Nice  scenery.

Devil Came from Akasava (1971)- NONSENSICAL Edgar Wallace-derived Jess Franco jungle thriller with Horst  Tappert. See   also  X312 Flight to Hell (1971).

The  Doberman Gang (1971)-  Slapdash  dog heist.

Every Little Crook and  Nanny (1972) - Godawful play adaptation, half-subNeil Simon, half-sub Disney.Lynn Redgrave looks after saggy-faced mafioso Victor Mature's son. John Astin and Dom Deluise are goons. Ok.ru

The New Centurions (1972) - Cops  and  marching band music.  Yep, it's  Joseph   Wambaugh. Not my  thing.Plus it's  a bit  televisually  flat.

Hickey and Boggs (1972) - Sour, confused, humourless private eye vehicle for Cosby and Culp.

The Offence  (1972)-  Paunchy, unglamourous, depressing Connery crime. Sidney Lumet manages to   evoke a realistically   grim English working class milieu.

Bone (1972) -  Silly, wannabe-political  Larry Cohen thing with Yaphet Kotto as  a black   militant.

Slaughter (1972) - Forgettable Jim Brown  actioner.

Electra Glide In Blue (1973) -  Dreary desert biking  artiness. Ok.ru

Harry in Your Pocket (1973)- Dreary James Coburn con comdram.

Book of Numbers (1973)- Grimy black  rural crime  thing with  Raymond St.Jacques, Freda "Band of Gold"  Payne and Tubbs.

Emperor of the North (1973)- I liked  this better than  last. Rewatch.

Shamus (1973) - Same  as every other Burt Reynolds PI thriller.

Cops and Robbers (1973) -  Dull New York UA supposed comedy. Ok.rued.

Stacey (1973)-  Dull Sidaris excuse for  "T&A", with  an aul wan   in a wheelchair  with loudspeaker, a lady racing  driver

Love and Pain and the Whole Damn Thing (1973) -  Another tedious road movie. MoreTravels with my Aunt.  Ok.ru

The Outfit (1973)  -Varied settings, astonishing cast, but  not  quite my thing.  Ok.ru.

Charley Varrick   (1973) -   A rewatch. Being   Universal, it feels   TV-ish.

Badge373  (1973)- Robert Duvall in a lacklustre but bare-faced French  Connection ripoff, even with Popeye  Doyle's real-life avatar Eddie Egan as an actor/advisor.

The Thief Who Came to Dinner (1973)  -  Ryan  O'Neal's big smug face.

The Don is Dead (1973) - If it'dhad    been a  DeLaurentiis,   it'd   work,  but  with the   televisual  Universal house style, it feels inauthentic.

That  Man  Bolt (1973)- Fred Williamson as a black  Bond. Despite  location shooting in Hong Kong, it is still clearly  a product of 70s Universal.

Blade (1973)- Grim, forgettable NYC thriller with a surprisingly solid cast  headed by  John Marley,  but   including  pre-fame  Rue McClanahan and Morgan Freeman.

Northeast of Seoul (1974)-  Confused  travelogue despite  quality  ham from Victor Buono.

BINGO (1974) -  Oddly-toned  satirical college  thriller  with a sub-Kroftt  Bros theme and  the inevitable Alexandra  Stewart.

Massacre  Mafia Style (1974)- Primitive  Godfather  knockoff engineered by   ex-Dean Martin tribute Duke Mitchell, shot on Queen Mary.  Ends with a massacre  involving guns in  bread rolls. Ok.rued.

Pets (1974)   - Softcore  nonsense with Ed Bishop in a  rare-US role.

Lancelot du Lac (1974)- Bresson does a Tales from Europe-take on  Arthur   with amateurs.

Bring  Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974) -   It feels shockingly  cheap.

Stoner  (1974)  -   Nonsensical  cult-related George Lazenby/flatcapped Angela Mao vehicle.

Gator Bait (1974) - Dingy swamping.

Bonnie's Kids (1974)- Usual  70s   smut-glazed she-action  grot.

Amazing Grace (1974) - Baffling vehicle for octogenarian chitlin' circuit stalwart Moms Mabley. Like  an African-American  Not On Your Nellie.

Dersu Uzala (1975) - Might be  Kurosawa's best.  Deftly  captures Russia's wilderness.

Darktown Strutters (1975) -Tacky blaxploiaion disco biker nonsense.

Lions for Breakfast (1975) - Affable but bland-in-that-New Avengers-in-Canada   way.

The Black Bird (1975)- Inept, TV movie-ish comedy sequel to the Maltese Falcon. Ok.ru.

The Drowning Pool (1975) -  Forgettable Paul Newman sequel  to   the  forgettable Harper.  Ok.ru.
Peeper (1975)- A most forgettable Michael Caine  vehicle.

The  Zebra Killer (1975)- William Girdler  mess.  Blacked-up killer looks like Only Fools and Horses' Tony Angelino.

Deadly Hero (1975) - Confused cop message movie. James Earl Jones  plays Rabbit Shazam.  Danny DeVito and some Mrs. Slocombe-wigged nudie dancers  appear.

Dog Day Afternoon (1975)- A poor man's  Pelham 123.

Jackson County Jail (1976) - Typical  Southern  fluff despite an embryonic Tommy  Lee Jones.

Death Machines (1976)- Amateurish, bored martial   arts.

HAWMPS (1976) -Apple Dumpling Gang with camels.

Moving  Violation  (1976) - Dreary Southern Corman chase-thriller.
See  also  the better-produced post-Corman White Line Fever (1975). Ok.ru.

Lipstick (1976)- Unlikeable DDL sleaze.Ok.rued, to spare me from the horrifics.

Hollywood Man (1976)- William Smith vanity  job about   making a biker film. The telling thing is despite the title, it was  made in Florida.

Hollywood Boulevard  (1976)  - Not   even  Dante   and   Arkush's  enthusiasm makes up for  this   chintzy stockfootage sexcom. Ok.ru.

The Blue Bird (1976) - All star Tales from Europe intended to bring the East and West together. Jinxed because Russia, c.1975 had the same production value as (1940),so it looks the same as the earlier schmaltzy sub-Wizard of Oz Shirley Temple version.    Though having actual  Oz sorta-director George Cukor  doesn't  help. My head can't quite get that Cicely Tyson and George Cole are the same age.

The Late  Show (1977)- Dull, oddly humourless    Art Carney private eye vehicle. Ok.ru. Heavily.

OneMan (1977) -DystopianNFB feature, Len Cariou using  his  own Canuck twang he  passed  of   as Irish in Mude,  She Wrote

Billy Jack Goes to Washington (1977)- To non-Americans,  Billy Jack  and its sequels baffle.

Too Hot to Handle (1977)- Bondage-themed  action  dreariness  withYootha Joyce-alike Cheri Caffaro.

Rolling Thunder (1977)  -  Dreary,depressing AIP/Schrader  vengeance thing. I think I saw this on ok.ru.

Crossed Swords (1977) - A load of stars hamming  it up, badly framed around Mark Twain.

Circle  of Iron (1978) - David  Carradine tries to do  what Bruce Lee failed -  as Michael Bolton-alike Jefff "Kaliman"  Cooper  plays a fortysomething youth searching for zen.  The best thing is Eli Wallach's magic  genitals.

The Great Bank Hoax (1978)- This had to have been intended for telly. What major studio production  in 1978 starring  Richard Basehart  would go to  cinemas? Ok.ru.

Mean  Dog Blues (1978) -   Mel  Stuart-helmed hicksploiter. Gregg Henry  is an alleged country  singer chased by   a dyed-black-haired George Kennedy who sobs over  dead dogs.

The Great Brain (1978)- Mormon Sting/Tom Sawyer-alike produced by the Osmonds. Has everyone's favourite toothy faux-Scouse Branson mogul, James A.   Osmond as the titular little bastard.

The One Man Jury  (1978) -  Schizophrenic Jack Palance action  obscurity.

Just You and Me, Kid (1979)- Dubious George  Burns dramedy with  underage near-nudity  from Brooke Shields.

The Prize Fighter (1979) -  Older Don Knotts is appealingly weary.  But  this is Corman's sub-Disney The Sting.   Ok.ru

The Hitter (1979)- Rough-hewn black streetfighting   yawn with Ron O'Neal.

Lost and Found (1979) - Nothingy Segal-Jackson comedy shot  in Canada, hence John Candy as a Frenchman.

Steel (1979) - Lee Majors vehicle  about builders- astonishingly  not   a Canadian tax dodge.

Gloria (1980)-  Cassavetes refuses to make an   action movie.

Fatso (1980)  -   Dom Deluise diets and fails.

Final    Assignment (1980)- Bland   Canadian Cold War  thriller with Genevieve   Bujold,Michael  York and Burgess Meredith.

The First Deadly Sin  (1980)- Soppy,sub-Movie of  the Week Frank Sinatra  cop-thriller.

Raise The Titanic (1980) -  Lovely score, but it has no villain. It needs a villain, because the plot is literally pulling a ship  out of water.

Union City (1980) -  Odd, unlikeable noir, weirdly attractive style not unlike John Paizs'  Crime Wave.

Cuba Crossing (1980) - Boney  M-soundtracked  all-star B movie feebleness  with no feel for Cuba.

Night of the Juggler (1980)- James  Brolin vs  some  Poundland The  Warriors.

The  Black Marble (1980) - Odd mystery-tinged Wambaugh rom-com.  Ok.ru

Below The Belt (1980) - Mediocre  ladies' wrestling film.

THE BALTIMORE BULLET (1980) -  Dreadful  good ole  boy  poolcom.

The Salamander (-1981)- Rai-Uno-like ITC Eurocrime.   At least,we hear Franco Nero's actual singing voice, more like an Italian Rolf  Harris  than Robert Goulet.Ends with  Nero having a kickabout    with Roman street kids. Rewatch.

Tower of Death (1981) -  Cheap. unsatisfying Bruceploiter.

Chan is Missing (1981  -  B/W)   - Not a mystery, almost a documentary.

ZootSuit (1981) -  Being Universal, it's  essentially a TVM.

The Devil And Max Devlin (1981)   -  Awful Disney   comedy,  despite or maybe  because of the perfect casting of Cosby as  a demon.

S.O.B. (1981) - Self-indulgent self-parody  failure by Blake  Edwards, satirising  his own wife's Julie Andrews' experiences on his own  Darling Lili.  Ok.ru

Fake Out (1982) - Turgid Pia Zadora/Telly  Savalas  Vegas car chase vehicle.
Butterfly (1982) - Turgid  Pia Zadora melodrama. Orson  Welles  chews his own fat.Stacy  Keach  looks confused.

The  Challenge (1982)- A messy lump of American  karate  froth, despite the presence of Toshiro Mifune.

Hammett (1982) - A  mess,suffers  from that Zoetrope artifice. Still, Roy Kinnear!

Nate and Hayes (1983) -  John Hughes' script is too slavish to the Raiders mould without adding anything new.

Bullshot  (1983) -  Finally found a  copy of this Ripping  Yards-ish  Drummond  parody  from  Handmade. The stage show cast who are retained mug too much, lead  Alan Shearman  (now  a leading  voice  actor) is very   Stanley  Baxter.  But    it  gives the  legend  that is Ron Pember a   major role. And it looks nice.

Under The Volcano (1984) - John Huston gets Finney drunk, and we have to watch. Ok.ru

Rustlers' Rhapsody (1985)  -  A confused Spanish-shot singing cowboy parody with Tom Berenger singing anachronistic countrypolitan-type songs, and the likes of Jim Carter and Christopher Malcolm pop up. Ok.ru

The Trouble With Spies (1987)  - Donald Sutherland  plays a Canadian-accented British spy in a sub-Carry  On  Abroad  HBO  original with an odd Transatlantic cast, which despite  being completely forgettable, got a theatrical release via DeLaurentiis.      Suzanne Danielle does   her "continental sexy woman"  schtick.

The Assignment (1997) -Despite Irishman Aidan Quinn absurdly cast as Hispanic, this  Canadian action-thriller set in the 70s manages to capture the feeling of something like Winner's Scorpio or a better  version of Rosebud. A DISCOVERY. Montreal ably doubles for London.Ben Kingsley looks like Bob Mortimer.

Brother 2 (2000) - Alexei Balabanov  I kind of like, but this once it goes to the US, loses its individuality.

Howl's MovingCastle (2005) -   Attractive  but goofy.

1 comment:

  1. Is Rustler's Rhapsody even a parody? I can only remember one joke in it (the "You gotta match?" bit) but the rest is a straightforward recreation of what Gene Autry got up to forty years before. Very odd, a bit like Nothing Lasts Forever in tone.