110

Mutiny on the Bounty (1935 - b/w) - A simple story but it is told well. Though Laughton seems restrained.

Lives of a Bengal Lancer (1935 - b/w) - Americanised Colonial bull.

Another Thin Man (1939 - b/w)/After the Thin Man (1936 - b/w)/Shadow of the Thin Man (1941 - b/w)/The Thin Man Goes Home (1944 - b/w)/Song of the Thin Man (1947 - b/w) - I don't really get screwball comedies, so maybe Nick and Nora just don't gel with me. Or I'm annoyed by William Powell's hair.

Bullets Or Ballots (1936 - b/w)/San Quentin (1937 - b/w)/A Slight Case of Murder (1938 - b/w) - Undistinguished Warner Brothers  gangsters tat despite  in 1. Edward G. Robinson, Bogart, 2.  Pat O'Brien, Bogie again, and 3. Robinson again respectively.

Last Train from Madrid (1937 - b/w) - Generic Universal  Spanish Civil war/actioner with Lew Ayres, Gilbert Roland, Dorothy Lamour and future Spanish game show host Anthony Quinn.

Le Quai des Brumes (1938 - b/w) - Noir with Jean Gabin and a dog. French noir is much scrappier than US  noir, so it is much more like a dog, so it makes more sense to feature a dog.

Goodbye Mr. Chips (1939 - b/w) - Typical MGM weepie, except actually made in England.

Poison Pen (1939 - b/w) - Robert Newton and Flora Robson in a flaccid village crime quickie.

Of Mice and Men (1939 - b/w) - Burgess Meredith and Lon Chaney Jr have chemistry. Even if it looks like they just wandered onto a western. Chaney overplays the slowness to the point you expect him to lap-dissolve into a wolfman.

You Can't Take It With You (1938 - b/w) - Surely, the fireworks scene was an influence on Carry On Up The Khyber. Typical sparky Capra.

The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex (1939 - b/w) -Elizabethan England as a Hollywood medieval fantasyland.

The Sea Hawk (1941 - b/w) - Entertaining though predictable pirate adventure, but hey, Flora Robson as Elizabeth I and her monkey.
See also more Errol in Captain Blood (1935 - b/w).

Dive Bomber (1941) - Errol Flynn aerial warfare propaganda.

Meet John Doe (1941 - b/w) - Lesser Capra.

Random Harvest (1942 - b/w) - Ronald Colman and Greer Garson in a weepie that is set in an almost-convincing England, but the obvious MGM sets (hey, that's from Mrs. Miniver!) firmly place it in fantasyland.

Millions Like Us (1943 - b/w) - Gainsborough factory girl propaganda. Baby Gordon Jackson alert.

The Lamp Still Burns (1943 - b/w) - Gainsborough nursing saga.

Till We Meet Again (1944 - b/w)  - Have we met before, Mr. Milland?

Fanny by Gaslight (1944 - b/w) - Typical Gainsborough. I remember watching this with Grandad, who whooped, "I met him" when James Mason popped up.

Destiny (1944 - b/w) - A padded supernatural/sentimental rejected segment from Flesh and Fantasy.

Give Us The Moon (1944 - b/w) - Generic romantic comedy with Vic "Churchill's son in law) and Margaret Lockwood, and a futuristic early television.

Caesar and Cleopatra (1945) - Un-pc tosh based on Shaw. Insane cast includes Vivien Leigh, Claude Rains, Stewart Granger, Stanley Holloway,Flora Robson, Francis L Sullivan (another Professor Challenger, on BBC radio), Cecil Parker, Ernest Thesiger, Michael Rennie, Leo Genn, John Laurie, Felix Aylmer, Valentine Dyall and the uncredited cast includes Cathleen Nesbitt, Jean Simmons and as an extra, a teenage boy named Roger Moore. Was simultaneously one of the most popular British films, yet also a massive flop.

Objective Burma (1945 - b/w) - Errol Flynn in what feels like a dry run for every Korean War movie, except this is about Burma in WW2, obviously.

Madonna of the Seven Moons (1945 - b/w) - Bobbins melodrama where Phyllis Calvert has a rape that turns her into a mad gypsy.

Cluny Brown (1946 - b/w) - Typical faux-Brit comedy of manners with Jennifer Jones and Charles Boyer.

Caravan (1946 - b/w) - I discovered this film in a book about Gerry Anderson age 7 and wanted to see it in the hope that it was about a dieselpunky hi-tech motorhome. Instead, it's Stewart Granger as a Englishman who moonlights as a boot-polished gypsy. Anderson was a teenage editor's apprentice. My gran's pal, Mary McDonald was a fan, apparently.

The Magic Bow (1946 - b/w) - Stewart Granger stiffly mimes to Yehudi Menuhin.

Captain Boycott (1947 - b/w) - Stewart Granger does an American accent to sound Irish.

Blanche Fury (1947) - Valerie Hobson is trapped between Stewart Granger and Michael Gough. In color.

The Man I Love (1947 - b/w) - Ida Lupino is a club singer in a sorta-noir/musical. Robert Alda is the male lead. A cheap servicer.

Johnny O'Clock (1947 - b/w) - Forgettable noir, despite Lee J. Cobb.

I Walk Alone  (1948 - b/w) - Generic noir with Kirk Douglas and Burt Lancaster and Lizabeth Scott.

The Snake Pit (1948 - b/w) - Too depressing for its own good.

WOMAN HATER (1948 - B/W) - Unfunny romcom with Stewart Granger, by Terence Young.

One Touch of Venus (1948 - b/w) - Bland romcom with Ava Gardner as Kim Cattrall in Mannequin.

Adam and Evelyne (1949 - b/w) - Standard romantic drama for Jean Simmons and Stewart Granger.

Battleground (1949 - b/w) - Generic snowbound WW2 saga with Van Johnson and Ricardo Montalban.

Rashomon (1950 - b/w) - Like a kabuki arthouse film.

Highly Dangerous (1950 - b/w) - Lippet B-pic with Margaret Lockwood, Dane Clark and Marius Goring, plus Naunton Wayne and Wilfrid Hyde White, about Mittel European biological attacks which is solved by rationed sugar.

The Damned Don't Cry (1950 - b/w) - Generic Joan Crawford melodrama.
See also the sleazy-but-sentimental Oirishness of the Story of Esther Costello (1957 - b/w).

Tales of Hoffman (1951) - The Beige Shoes.

Smuggler's Island (1951 - b/w) - Duff faux-Oriental action with Jeff Chandler.

Royal Wedding (1951 - b/w) - Just a bunch of innovative dance numbers clung together by a royal-riding plot.

Appointment with Danger (1951 - b/w) - Generic noir with Alan Ladd and Phyllis Calvert.

Song of Paris (1952 - b/w)/The Crowded Day (1954 - B/W) - Bids for respectability by Adelphi films. The former a romantic comedy with Dennis Price and Mischa Auer, the second a workhouse comedy with John Gregson driving a Genevieve knockoff and featuring a young Prunella Scales and Sid James, but they are interesting because they are British Poverty Row trying to appeal to the Rank circuits and failing.

L'Amore In Citta (1953 - b/w) - Forgettable anthology despite Risi, Antonioni, Fellini and er... Lizzani.f

Miss Sadie Thompson (1953) - Rita Hayworth in an overstretched color Maugham adaptation. Just Jose Ferrer and Aldo Ray leading a bunch of lusty soldiers.

I Vitelloni (1953 - b/w) - Early Fellini, nicely shot but lots of baffling Italian comedy.

Cosh Boy (1953 - b/w) - Interesting juvenile delinquency by Lewis Gilbert. James Kenney is a somewhat unconvincing lead, Joan Collins is his girlfriend, but the highlight is Hermione Gingold as a prostitute. Plus Hermione Baddeley is in this too. But then there's the titular anti-hero's sidekick, Alfie, played by the messy-haired, flute-voiced Ian Whittaker (a future production designer, and the one link between the Revenge of Frankenstein and Frankenstein Unbound), in his mid-twenties, resembling a kind of post-pubescent delinquent Jimmy Krankie.

Mogambo (1953) - Generic jungle adventure. Clark Gable, Ava Gardner, Grace Kelly and Donald Sinden have dinner on safari.

Split Second (1953 - b/w) - Basically a western in noir garb, with a nuclear bomb test instead of rampaging Apaches.

Hell's Half-Acre (1954 - b/w) - Hawaiian noir with Wendell Corey, Evelyn Keyes, Keye Luke and the one good bit - Elsa Lanchester as a cabbie.

The Wild One (1954 - b/w) - Ludicrous and hard to take this bunch of bikers seriously.

The Rose Tattoo (1955 - b/w) - Good performances but the same old Tennessee Williams.

Above Us The Waves (1955 - b/w) - Samey war fare with John Mills and Dirty Denholm Elliott.

The Mysterians (1956) - A typical 50s SF plot riffing on The Day the Earth Stood Still given a funky Japanese treatment.

Between Heaven and Hell (1956) - Generic Robert Wagner warfare.

Wicked As They Come (1956 - b/w) - British cheapie with Arlene Dahl, Herbert Marshall and Ken Barlow-alike Philip Carey. The first twenty minutes are the most interesting, because it's a gritty US tenement, with Sid James as an abusive stepfather and a chintzy British view of US TV. But then once it goes to the UK, it goes all cheap and British.

The Counterfeit Plan (1957 - b/w) - Forgettable UK crime flick with Zachary Scott and Sydney Tafler.

The Flesh is Weak (1957 - b/w) - Forgettable UK crime flick with John Derek.

A Raw Wind in Eden (1958)  - Bland color desert island romance with Esther Williams and Jeff Chandler.

The Black Orchid (1958 - b/w) - Italian-American gangster melodrama-romance with Anthony Quinn and Sophia Loren.

Screaming Mimi (1958 - b/w) - Padded out by Gypsy Rose Lee burlesque, this is a rote B-picture where Anita Ekberg MIGHT be a killer. Oof.

The Last Angry Man (1959 - b/w) - Bland TV play adap with David Wayne, Paul Muni, Billy Dee Williams and Betsy Palmer.

No Trees in the Street (1959  - b/w) - J. Lee Thompson-directed grimy noirish slum melodrama with Sylvia Syms, Herbert Lom, Terence Morgan and David Hemmings. Introduces the already-well-established Melvyn Hayes.

Beyond the Curtain (1960 - b/w) - Bland British Euro-action with Richard Greene, Eva Bartok and Marius Goring.

Goodbye Again (1961 - b/w) - Ingrid Bergman and Yves Montand in a Euro-melodrama with Anthony Perkins.


The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner (1962 - b/w) -It defiantly captures the setting and everything you want to say about it, i.e. you wouldn't want to visit it every month. Michael Redgrave feels too starry, though but that may be the point. He's not like Courtenay or Bolam or Thaw.  John Thaw actually looks young, for once but then he is playing young.

Boccaccio '70 (1962) - A mix of baffling Italian sex comedy as art, though the last one is fun, by De Sica, as it has the combination of Sophia Loren and Italian telly.

Toys in the Attic (1963 - b/w) - Dean Martin and Geraldine Page in another Southern melodrama.

Red Desert (1964) - What are the comics in this? Tintin comic spinoff/compilation Michel Vaillant. Richard Harris (who seems to always appear in films that have comics - The Wild Geese and Juggernaut have IPC product placement, but alas Harry Potter cut out the racist anti-Muggle comics from the books) still comes across as a bloke from Limerick, the big bogger head on him. It's a film about nothing.

The Best Man (1964 - b/w) - Bland politicking with Cliff Robertson and Henry Fonda.

The Party's Over (1965) - Unusually sleazy Guy Hamilton pic about beatniks, Oliver Reed, Louise Sorel, Ann Lynn and Eddie Albert and Catherine Woodville appear, but it is stolen by the uniquely featured, bald, almost Ronald Lacey-esque Maurice Browning, who f was Hattie Jacques'secretary and cowrote the Cool Mikado.

The Art of Love (1965) - Unfunny faux-French romcom with James Garner, Dick Van Dyke and Elke Sommer.

The Lace Wars (1965) - Rene Clair's last film, a dopey colour period swashbuckler with Jean Pierre Cassel.

Moment to Moment (1966) - Terrible sub-Harold Robinson melodrama with Jean Seberg and Honor Blackman contending with the fact Seberg's plank-of-wood lover may have accidentally been murdered, or something. Typical Universal backlot transatlantic tripe.

Grand Prix (1966) - It's slow, ironic for a film about motorsport.

Funnyman (1967) - Like a Sesame Street sketch crossed with an exploration of a comedian's life, with Peter Bonerz.

Justine (1968) - Eurovision star/Tyrone's daughter Romina Power in Harry Alan Towers/ Jesus Franco erotica. It looks gorgeous. But of course, it's pervy as a bush full of Razzles.

Terror in the Jungle (1968) - This film is a story to be told. I'd heard about it, mainly from Chris Alexander of Fangoria. It's the sort of film that has no one you're even vaguely familiar with. Yet it treats it cast of unknowns as if they were stars. It sets up characters  on board a plane, who we are presume are going to be Irwin Allen-type protagonists. There is a pop band - well, a bunch of craggy middle-aged men in Beatle wigs who are allegedly a pop band, but look more like rejected doubles for various Doctors Who. But then everyone dies. All these people of limited or no talent who are acting their heart out. Even the nun is eaten by a puppet croc.    However, the cast are so interchangeable one thinks you see them again, but no it's just another bunch of actors. It has that Florida exploitation look, of the films of HG Lewis or Ted V Mikels. A little Hollywood in miniature. But the only character who survives is this kid called Henry who escapes in a nun's coffin, and thus the film becomes a sub-sub-Disney story of a kid Tarzan who trawls the jungle of Peru. Actual Peru.  Except when it is Griffith Park. Then, it becomes a lost world film, or a mondo film, and Henry's dad comes to rescue him from a lost tribe of white people browned up, and Henry's stuffed toy leopard comes to life.  And then there's quicksand. It has three directors, neither of whom had any knowledge of the other.  One of whom was Tom DeSimone,later behind the likes of Hell Night.

Easy Rider (1969) - Countercultural biking. Nothing more, nothing less.

Battle of Britain (1969) - You can't deny it succeeded in its ambition. They literally recreated the Battle of Britain. With a few anachronistic details and haircuts.

Cromwell (1970) - Almost worthless because it ignores the Irish stuff, and not only casts a proud son of Limerick as Ireland's most dreaded enemy but also allows him to use his own accent. Still, some of the war scenes have a kind of Bava-ish look.

Vanishing Point (1971) - Just Barry Newman driving very fast, very recklessly, while blind Cleavon Little witters on.

Fata Morgana (1971) - Herzog's mondo movie. Literally repeats itself to the sound of Leonard Cohen.

Even Dwarfs Started Small (1971 - b/w) - The ultimate in Dwarfsploitation.

The Godfather (1972) - It's a typical slice of Hollywood bonkbustery that because it was directed by Coppola rather than a Daniel Petrie or a Charles Jarrott or a Terence Young or an Edward Dmytryk, it isn't seen as that. But when you read the original Puzo novel, it's a prime slice of pornographic muzak.

Aguirre - The Wrath of God (1973) - More a documentary than anything, just with fictional characters. Even a bird flies through mid-scene.


Three Wishes for Cindarella (1973) - Tales from Europe - The Next Generation.

Lenny (1974 - b/w) - Lenny was a creep. This is an icky, confused, arty mess.

Scent of A Woman (1974) - Vittorio Gassman smells Agostina Belli. And because he's blind, he gets creepy about it.

Heart of Glass (1976) - Herzog does a period drama. See also The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser (1974) with its Granville from Open All Hours-esque elderly teenage hero.

The Shootist (1976) - John Wayne goes out on a whimper, despite a cavalcade of guest stars. It's almost like Wayne is attending his own funeral. But it feels pretty much like every other late-period western Wayne made, despite Don Siegel directing and Dino De Laurentiis producing. But there's little Italian influence here.

All That Jazz (1979) - Bob Fosse shows us inside his mind. At once, afraid of himself and proud of himself.

The Supergrass (1985) - The Comic Strip presents... guff.

Hell Squad (1986) - A bizarre Cannon actioner that feels like a cross between a 1950s b-picture and an Andy Sidaris venture, with a bunch of busty babes going to rescue an Ambassador's son in a shonky Middle East, complete with veteran character actor Marvin Miller as the Sheik.

Jacquot de Nantes (1991) - A heartfelt tribute to the life of Jacques Demy, by his wife Agnes Varda. Excellently crafted.

Carlito's Way (1993) - DePalma tries to be Scorsese.

Richard III (1995) - Shakespeare re-enacted in the style of a 1980s Pan-European miniseries about a famous dictator.

Last Man Standing (1996) - Walter Hill wants to make a western. The studio want a gangster movie.

La Antena (2007) - A load of surrealist sub-Jeunet toss in the style of Guy Maddin.

100

The Last Laugh (1924 - b/w) - Beautifully made Murnau story. Emil Jannings had a great face.

The Blue Angel (1930 - b/w) - Attractive but somewhat saccharine proto-talkie with Dietrich and Emil Jannings hamming it up.
See also Desire (1936 - b/w) - a typical melodrama with Gary Cooper and Dietrich.

Rome Express (1932 - b/w) - Bland train melodrama with Conrad Veidt. A quota quickie with a bigger budget.

Arsene Lupin (1932 - b/w) - The Barrymores are interchangeable in this cop vs thief thriller.
The sequels, Arsene Lupin Returns (1938 - b/w, with Melvyn Douglas) and the Universal cash-in Enter Arsene Lupin (1944 - b/w) are more rote B-movie crime fare, the latter clearly a doomed pilot for a series of Rathbone Sherlock-type procedurals.
See also the French adaptations Signe Arsene Lupin (1937 - b/w) and Arsene Lupin, Detective (1959).

Bureau of Missing Persons (1933 - b/w) - Serviceable B-policier with Bette Davis and Pat O'Brien.

Spring Tonic (1935 - b/w) - Lew Ayres and Claire Trevor in a musical quickie.

Sylvia Scarlett (1935 - b/w) - Preposterous. As a boy, Katharine Hepburn looks like a lesbian. Which she allegedly was.

The Dawn Patrol (1938 - b/w) - Exciting chases enliven a typical 30s WW1 pic. With Niven, Rathbone and Flynn.

Destry Rides Again (1939 - b/w) - Typically, slightly goofy western.

The Lion Has Wings (1939 - b/w) - Powell's propaganda cavalcade.

Second Chorus (1940 - b/w) - More Fred Stair.


Pier 13 (1940 - b/w) - Forgettable Fox cheapie with Lloyd Nolan.

Dangerous Moonlight (1941 - b/w) - Typical 40s wartime romance.

Kid Glove Killer (1942 - b/w) - Forgettable terrorism quickie with Van Heflin.

Nazi Agent (1942 - b/w) - MGM B-film with Conrad Veidt. Typical war propaganda.

A Yank on the Burma Road (1942 - b/w) - Typical propaganda cheapie with Barry Nelson.

A Stranger In Town (1943 - b/w) - Generic political comedy with Frank Morgan.

The Purple Heart (1944 - b/w) - Fox anti-Japanese propaganda with Dana Andrews.

Crimson Canary (1945 - b/w) - Forgettable Universal crime quickie with jazz by Coleman Hawkins, starring Noah Beery Jr.

Where Do We Go From Here (1945) - Color pioneer/pirate fantasy musical froth with June Haver, Fred MacMurray and Anthony Quinn.

The Bandit of Sherwood Forest (1946) - Uninteresting Son of Robin Hood cheapie.

I See A Dark Stranger (1946 - b/w)- Alias the Adventuress. Atmospheric Oirish Republican gubbins with Deborah Kerr, but hey, actual Dublin.

It's A Wonderful Life (1946 - b/w) 'Salright. But it's overlong. There's barely an hour of plot.

State of the Union (1948 - b/w) - Politics doesn't interest me. Tracy, Hepburn and Lansbury.

12 O'Clock High (1949) - So generic I could swear I logged it before.

Gas House Kids in Hollywood (1947 - b/w) - PRC's flop answer to the Bowery Boys, with a grown-up Alfalfa Switzer, it's more so the Little Rascals - post puberty.

Rope (1948 - b/w) - Heh. The Americanisations feel shoehorned in in this excellent-shot but still essentially what-it-is - a play.

Act of Murder (1948 - b/w) - Courtroom drama with Frederic March as a euthanizer.

Obsession (1949 - b/w) - Generic British noir/thriller with Robert Newton wandering about post-Blitz London.

Reign of Terror (1949 - b/w) - Gothic poverty row take on the French Revolution by Anthony Mann.

Lady Without Passport (1950 - b/w) - Hedy Lamarr noir, unmemorable travelogue/Hispanic Casablanca knockoff.

Target Unknown (1951 - b/w)  - Ropey Universal war programmer.

A Streetcar named Desire (1951 - b/w) - Typical Tennessee Williams natters.

Ruby Gentry (1952 - b/w) - Generic Southern melodrama.

Million Dollar Mermaid (1952) - Pleasing faux-Australian color dancing in water from Busby Berkeley, with Esther Williams, Victor Mature and Walter Pidgeon.

The Bad and the Beautiful (1952 - b/w) - Lana Turner, Kirk Douglas and Gloria Grahame in a lush, atmospheric if somewhat generic Hollywood melodrama.

The Titfield Thunderbolt (1953) - Typical grating Ealing whimsy.

Young Bess (1953) - Despite Charles Laughton as Henry VIII, a bland vehicle for Jean Simmons and Stewart Granger.

 Knights of the Round Table (1953)  - Lush Arthurian epic with Robert Taylor, Ava Gardner and Mel Ferrer, and Gabriel "Sutekh the Destroyer" Woolf in a rare, and surprisingly large on-screen role. The first of several Arthurian productions to be shot in Ireland.

Terror On a Train (1953 - b/w) - Glenn Ford and Maurice Denham in a quota quickie with an MGM budget but a quickie runtime.

Turn The Key Softly (1953 - b/w) - Early Joan Collins vehicle alongside Yvonne Mitchell. Serviceable women's prison noir.

Green Fire (1954) - Stewart Granger and Grace Kelly in a rote South American redo of King Solomon's Mines.

Happy Ever After (1954) - Silly Oirish comedy that prefigures Neil Jordan's High Spirits, with David Niven, Yvonne De Carlo, George Cole and Barry Fitzgerald.

The Purple Plain (1954) - Generic wartime romance with Gregory Peck, Bernard Lee and a BAFTA-nominated Maurice Denham.

The Far Country (1955) - James Stewart western, only difference is it is in Canada.

Bad Day at Black Rock (1955) - A B/W crime quickie given a huge budget and color and a major star (Spencer Tracy) and actual locations.

The Cobweb (1955) - Tedious MGM asylum drama.

Bhowani Junction (1956) - Hard to take seriously, when you have the likes of Francis Matthews browned up and Ava Gardner in a sari, while Stewart Granger is left stiff and British.

Action of the Tiger (1957) - Warwick-like Eady leveller Arab action folderol with Van Johnson and a browned-up Herbert Lom. Sean Connery in this somewhere.

Desk Set (1957) - Typical romcom with Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. Basically an ad for IBM.

The Hunters (1958) - Bland Mitchum/Wagner aircraft drama.

Anatomy of a Murder (1959 - b/w) - Flawed attempt to turn a noir into a roadshow picture.

The Angry Hills (1959 - b/w) - Grim B/W Europudding melodrama in Greece with Robert Mitchum.

From The Terrace (1960) - Tedious melodrama with Paul Newman.

A Flame in the Blood (1960 - b/w) - Boring courtroom melodrama with Don Ameche and Efrem Zimablist.

A Raisin In The Sun (1961 - b/w) - That Sidney Potter's a good dancer, in't he, Rodney? It's always weird seeing John Fiedler in the flesh, with his Piglet voice.

Guns of Darkness (1962 - b/w) - Sericeable but bland South American melodrama with David Niven, Leslie Caron and David Opatoshu.

Sweet Bird of Youth (1962) - Another tired Southern melodrama.

8½ (1963 - b/w) - Overlong, indulgent paean (pain) to the women in Fellini's life.

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964)/The Young Girls of Rochefort (1967) - Demy combines the style of Hollywood musicals with the self-indulgent navel-gazing of the New Wave.

633 Squadron (1964) - Serviceable WW2 action.

Robin and the 7 Hoods (1964) - America's greatest entertainers play gangsters like a bunch of rich infants.

Catch Us If You Can (1965 - b/w) - Godawful, wandering Dave Clark Five musical, John Boorman's directorial debut.

The Trap (1966) - Peculiar western romance with Rita Tushingham as a mute in 19th century British Columbia taken in by hunter Oliver Reed.

The Sand Pebbles (1966) - A gorgeous slog through the Orient.

The Graduate (1967) - It looks nice and the Simon and Garfunkel soundtrack's a keeper but Bancroft and Hoffman kind of look the same age.

The Hell with Heroes (1967) - Backlot-bound, anachronistic WW2 toss with Rod Taylor and Claudia Cardinale.

Valley of the Dolls (1967) - Ridiculously awful. Sharon Tate couldn't act for toffee. And Patty Duke at the end looks like a Hobbit hooker. Trampiness does not suit her.

The Girl and the General (1967) - Confused mess of an Italian alleged tragi-comedy with Virna Lisi and Rod Steiger.

Escalation (1968) - Boring Italian pop romance by Gabriele Ferzetti.

Sol Madrid (1968) - Dull TV-ish vehicle for David McCallum.

The Rain People (1969) - Forgotten Coppola story of Shirley Knight as a countercultural housewife who goes on a  trip with eejit James Caan.

Husbands (1970) - Captures life but this Cassavetes picture feels too ugly and tough for its own good at times.

Spring and Port Wine (1970) - Television-obsessed Bolton-set comedy drama, blandly Northern, James Mason and Diana Coupland the parents of Rodney Bewes and Susan George. Would make a double feature with the darker The Family Way, also set in Bolton.

On the Buses (1971)/Mutiny on the Buses (1972)/Holiday on the Buses (1973) - The sequels are better. But it shows the desperation and lack of creativity. It's not even Carry On. It's sub-Children's Film Foundation.

Desperate Characters (1971) - Grim, unlikeable Shirley MacLaine vehicle, but Kenneth Mars had a range that people underrated and just cast him as the silly German guy. He had a slight Laird Cregar vibe in his youth, and was vocally dexterous (his animation CV heaves). Gerald S. O'Loughlin looks like a hunkier American Leonard Rossiter.

Last of the Red Hot Lovers (1972)/Rafferty and the Gold Dust Twins (1974) - Alan Arkin and Sally Kellerman nonsense. The latter is more interesting, but because of Mackenzie Phillips and Charles Martin Smith, and Harry Dean Stanton, which feels like a different film.

Baxter! (1973) - Strange attempt by Lionel Jeffries to do a Hal Ashby/Mike Nichols-type film about Scott Jacoby as a confused kid with a speaking impediment

White Lightning (1973)/Gator (1976) - More naturalistic, more authentic relics of the South than the Smokeys. Plus is it just me or was Burt Reynolds cooler without the tache? He seems more of a presence, something of an American Connery. No wonder Broccoli wanted him as Bond.

Breakout (1975) - Jokey Charles Bronson-Robert Duvall hackwork.

Face to Face (1976)  -Too harrowing for my tastes. Bergman at his most cold.

Serail (1976) - Unmemorable psychodrama with Corin Redgrave and Leslie Caron.

Woyzeck (1977) - Kinski and Herzog on autopilot.

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) - It looks nice. It has a solid atmosphere. It might be Herzog's best. Even though a lot of it looks like the Onedin Line.

Kung Fu Executioner (1981 - b/w) - Hong Kong Godfather knockoff.

The Legend of the Lone Ranger (1981) - Heaven's Gate's schlockier little brother.

Fitzcarraldo (1982) - Fuck off.

Moon Over Parador (1988) - Typical late 80s studio comedy, with Richard Dreyfuss and his brother as an American who has to replace a dictator. With Raul Julia, and Sammy Davis Jr and Ed Asner as themselves.

Cobra Verde (1988) - Late Herzog-Kinski. Feels like a German TV docudrama.

Akira Kurosawa's Dreams (1990) - A visually pretty but fragmentary mess.

140

Storm at Daybreak (1933 - b/w) - Average faux-Eastern European MGM epic.

42nd Street (1933 - b/w)  -A groundbreaking musical. Not what I'd enjoy, but it is well-formed.

Anna Karenina (1935 - b/w) - Garbo moans.

Ninotchka (1939 - b/w) - Typical screwballer.

Johnny Apollo (1940 - b/w) - Tyrone Power in undistinguished gangster drama.

For Freedom (1940 - b/w) - Maurice Elvey-helmed WW2 propaganda piece with WillFyffe. A mix of documentary, stock footage and drama. Endlessly padded.

Destination Unknown (1942 - b/w) - More forgettable William Gargan action.

Busses Roar (1942 - b/w) - Studio b-picture about a bus bomb. Unmemorable. Willie Best does his thing.

This Above All (1942 - b/w) - Sickly sweet sentimental blitz saga on the Fox lot with Tyrone Power, Joan Fontaine and a tache-less yokel Nigel Bruce.

Crash Dive (1943) - Anne Baxter, Tyrone and Dana Andrews in generic WW2 sub-related propaganda.

Tomorrow is Forever (1944) - Chintzy Orson Welles/Claudette Colbert/George Brent romantic melodrama.

None Shall Escape (1944 - b/w) - Shonky western-set-doubling-as-Germany Nazi trail cheapie with Alexander Knox.

Rome Open City (1945) - Neorealism, well-constructed but not my bag, but it works.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (1945 - b/w) - Well-made Oirish sentimentality.

The Bishop's Wife (1947 - b/w)/Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948 - b/w) - Cary Grant carries on. Not my type of humour.

It Always Rains on Sunday (1947 - b/w) - Ealing neorealism.

Unfaithfully Yours (1948 - b/w) - Seeing Rex Harrison murder his wife is too close to home, knowing what he did to Carole Landis.

Against the Wind (1948 - b/w) - Ealing noir/average wartime resistance yarn with Robert Beatty and Simone Signoret. Nicely shot prison scenes.

Helter Skelter (1949 - b/w) - David Tomlinson and Carol Marsh star in this BBC-set Gainsborough variety show, but the cast include Jon Pertwee billed over the tache-tastic duo of Terry-Thomas and Jimmy Edwards. Typical variety show comedy, with lots of acts mushed together and a limited, loose plot.

On Our Merry Way (1948) - Fonda, Laughton (in the restored cut), Lamour, Meredith, MacMurray, Stewart and others in this sentimental radio-sourced anthology from Arch Oboler.

Fixed Bayonets (1951 - b/w) - Typical Korean war material from Sam Fuller.

Diplomatic Courier (1952 - b/w) - Average European-set espionage noir with Tyrone Power, Hildegarde Neff, Patricia Neal and Karl Malden.

Viva Zapata (1952 - b/w) - Preachy faux-Mexican Brando.

Come Back Little Sheba (1952 -b/w) - Overblown Southern melodrama.

High Noon (1952 - b/w) - Just another western. Gary Cooper - an old face on a young-looking body. Forgot that Lon Chaney turns up.

The Yellow Balloon (1953 - b/w) - Atmospheric J. Lee Thompson quickie where Andrew Ray is a schoolboy who falls into London street crime.

The Juggler (1953 - b/w) - Kirk Douglas lollops about Israel doing Senor Wences impressions.

The Million Pound Note (1954) - Average 50s smiler comedy with Gregory Peck.

Summertime (1955) - Brief Encounter Abroad.

The Virgin Queen (1955) - Bette Davis in thick makeup and baldcap plays a sexless Liz R in this ridiculous slice of Fox period pulp with Richard Todd and Joan Collins. Rod Taylor, who the aul wan confuses with Todd ("which fella's the Australian?") appears as a Welshman.

Yangtse Incident (1957 - b/w) - Weird to see Richard Todd and William Hartnell billed over both Akim Tamiroff and Keye Luke, in this well-assembled British war saga.  Tamiroff, an Armenian is an unconvincing Chinese , with his accent, but he could be an Uyghur.

China Gate (1957) - Sam Fuller-directed Indochine war saga. Nat King Cole is a surprisingly convincing badass who has a non-diagetic  musical number (which breaks reality).  Angie Dickinson is an unconvincing Eurasian.  Interesting little film ripe for rediscovery.

Hot Spell (1958 - b/w) - Overbaked drama, despite Shirley Booth wondrously showboating alongside Anthony Quinn.

Strangers When We Meet (1958) - RIP Kirk, great actor and presence, but utterly despicable human being. But this is a typical soapie melodrama. Weird to see a serious Ernie Kovacs.

Expresso Bongo (1959 - b/w) - Interesting satire, but casting Cliff Richard playing a satire on Tommy Steele who is altered to be less of a parody kind of kills the joke, and Laurence Harvey is intolerable.

Crimson Kimono (1959 - b/w) - Routne but groundbreaking Japanese-American crime film by Sam Fuller, a reversal of House of Bamboo, with James Shigeta.

Solomon and Sheba (1959) - Typically camp biblical epic (Jean Anderson especially), with Yul Brynner drafted in to replace the corpse of Tyrone Power. Gina Lollobrigida does her thing.

Murder Inc (1960 - b/w) - Dreary TV-ish gangster schlock with Peter Falk.

Tunes of Glory (1960) - Tonally confused drama, has the feel of a caper, with Alec Guinness looking like a DC Thomson comic idea of a Scot, with outrageous red hair, and there's a cheery Scotland the Brave-driven theme, but it's actually a depressing, dark drama shot like a comedy. It even mentions Muffin the Mule.

Breathless (1960 - b/w) - Fuck off, Godard.

Conspiracy of Hearts (1960 - b/w) - A US teleplay about nuns saving Jewish kids from Nazis adapted as a typical, stiff war movie/women's picture starring Lilli Palmer and Sylvia Syms. Of course, David Kossoff has to pop up.

Who Was That Lady (1960 - b/w) - A Martin and Lewis comedy except it is Tony Curtis instead of Joseph Levitch.

A Touch of Larceny (1960 - b/w) - Dreary James Mason-Vera Miles-George Sanders comedy.

School for Scoundrels (1960 - b/w) - Typical Ian Carmichael comedy.

Madison Avenue (1961 - b/w) - Dana Andrews in last-minute attempt to revive his career in an undistinguished romantic ad-drama.

Sanctuary (1961 - b/w) - Tony Richardson Hollywood bollocks, Southern gothic with Lee Remick.

Underworld U.S.A. (1961 - b/w) - Gritty, unlikeable Sam Fuller noir.

West Side Story (1961) - It breezes along.

Inherit the Wind (1961 - b/w) - Powerful, despite being a courtroom drama. But hey, WGN product placement!

Days of Wine and Roses (1962 - b/w) - Blake Edwards tries to be Billy Wilder. However, it was interesting to see a Felix (Jack Lemmon) from one universe interacting with another Oscar (Klugman). A slight too depressing for my taste.

The War Lover (1962 - b/w) - Typical wartime saga with Steve McQueen, Shirley Anne Field and annoying American Michael Crawford.

The Servant (1962  - b/w) - James Fox and Dirk Bogarde, now there's two terrible toffs. It has a distractingly bright, almost video-like texture. Technically an AIP picture. Nice to see Wendy Craig in a big part.

The Counterfeit Traitor (1962) - Tried watching this overlong Scandinavian-set Nazi melodrama with Richard Widmark, Lilli Palmer and Hugh Griffith before, but after Scorsese recommended it, tried again. Nah.

Advise and Consent (1962) - Typical Washington discussion.

Escape from East Berlin (1962 - b/w) - Forgettable, unexciting cheapie with Don Murray, Christine Kaufmann and for once in actual Germany, Werner Klemperer, pre-Hogan's Heroes.

Act One (1963 - b/w) - Dreadful Broadway biopic of Moss Hart with George Hamilton. A pre-fame Cary Grant/Archie Leach is played by American-accented Robert Powell-alike Bert Convy.

The Thin Red Line (1964 - b/w) - Cheap and nasty adaptation with Keir Dullea and Jack Warden in uniforms with stick-on-emblems.

36 Hours (1964 - b/w) - James Garner and Rod Taylor and Eva Marie Saint in a Roald Dahl adap (for legal reasons, initially an unofficial adaptation but then Pat Neal noticed when offered the script). The first ten minutes in ably capture Dahl's tone with the evil Nazi English charlady in the fake BOAC office, but it all goes a bit pear-shaped once we go to Lisbon. Ably uses Taylor's wonky American accent as a German-American. It feels padded.

Kiss Me, Stupid (1964 - b/w) - Autopilot Wilder. Celebrity paradox - George (and Irene Ira) Gershwin wrote the story, but is mentioned. Nice to see Ray Walston in a big lead.

The Train (1964 - b/w) - Somehow never found this film enjoyable or entertaining.

Fate is the Hunter (1964 - b/w) - Turgid aircraft drama with Glenn Ford, Nancy Kwan, greyed-up Rod Taylor and Jane Russell as herself.

Wild Seed (1965 - b/w) - Naturalistic teen docudrama with Michael Parks and Celia Kaye.

The Agony and the Ecstasy (1965) - Just another generic bundle of lies scraped together and called a biopic. Heston isn't really Michelangelo. Rex Harrison just horrid enough to be the Pope.

The Bedford Incident (1965 - b/w) - Dry wartime submarine antics with Widmark and Poitier.

King Rat (1965 - b/w) - Not a panto, despite the title, but Geoffrey Bayldon is billed over Richard Dawson, a peculiar mix of British character faces (Rossiter, Gerald Sim, Alan Webb, John Ronane, Reg Lye) and American-based RentaBrits plus Fox, Mills, Courtenay, Denholm Elliott, a typical WW2 POW "joint".

Blow-Up (1966) - Tries to be a genre film, but refuses. A load of prettily-shot Swinging London nonsense. Product placement for the Daily Mail and Peter Bowles jar with the countercultural tone.

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966 - b/w) - Sandy Dennis and George Segal are annoyed by the shouting of Burton and Taylor, and so are we.

The Group (1966) - Jessica Walter, Elizabeth Hartman, Joan Hackett, Shirley Knight, Joanna Pettet, Candace Bergen, plus Kathleen Widdoes and Mary Robin Redd are the titular gang of college students in this epic. Stodgy, but it's interesting to see Larry Hagman in  a crack at film leading man status, plus Richard Mulligan and George Gaynes and Hal Holbrook turn up. Feels like Sandy Dennis should be in there too, but she isn't.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967) - That Sidney Potter's a good actor, inne Rodney? He's marvellous in this. But it's a typical preachy Hollywood "black people are okay, m'kay" treatise. It even has a treacly theme.

Up the Down Staircase (1967) - Peculiar but interesting high school film with Sandy Dennis as a teacher, plus Eileen Heckart, Jean Stapleton and a rare lead for Irish actor Patrick Bedford, who had a mostly UK-based career, including appearances in two separate body-snatcher-type British SF series, ITV's Undermind and BBC's Counterstrike. This was his one attempt at film stardom post-a Tony win for his role in Philadelphia, Here I Come!

The Road to Corinth (1967) - Lush but bog-standard-in-most-respects Eurospy from Claude Chabrol.

Bye Bye Braverman (1968) - A decent cast and a proper immersive dive into New York of the era help this otherwise unpromising-sounding Jewish comedy.

The Ruthless Four (1968) - An interesting western, almost SF of the past. Van Heflin gives too good a performance for this kind of film. Gilbert Roland looks great for his age.

Sweet Charity (1969) - What is this supposed to be, Fosse? A Hollywoodisation of Fellini in musical form?

Last Summer (1969) - Excellently produced but depressing teen-drama. Tried watching it before, but after reading about Catherine Burns, who got nominated for an Oscar for her heartbreaking performance, but never rode to the heights of costars Barbara Hershey, Bruce Davison and Richard Thomas, gave it a go.

Catch-22  (1970) - Thought I had reviewed this already. An unwatchable crack of countercultural shite. M*A*S*H with the wrong Alan.

Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice (1970) - Hateful.

Ulzana's Raid (1972) - An interesting western, focusing on the Natives, with a shoehorned Burt Lancaster. But it looks so flat and TV, compared to the Italian stuff from the era.

Sans Mobile Apparent (1971) - French 87th Precinct with Jean Louis Trintignant, Dominique Sanda and Sacha Distel, at the height of his crooning stardom.
See also another French Ed McBain, the creepy Quebecois Anglophone Claude Chabrol Europud that is Blood Relatives (1979).

Sleuth (1972) - A rewatch. Hmm. I find it hard to like, yet I love the set.

Black Mama, White Mama (1973) - This isn't made to be a good film. It's just made so we can see Pam Grier and Margaret Markov kick ass and do the Defiant Ones, and it does that, so it achieves its goal.

Breezy (1973)  - Amiable Clint Eastwood-directed romcom about an older man (William Holden) and a hippie teen (Kay Lenz) who fall in love. Happily ends, unlike a few other films of the era (Fools with Jason Robards).

Black Samson (1974) - Simultaneously horribly grim and outrageously camp blaxploiter with the awesomely built Rockne Tarkington and his pet lion fighting nasty gangsters William Smith and a tache-less Titos Vandis.

Innocents with Dirty Hands (1975) - Chabrol does an average 70s erotic thriller with Steiger and Schneider.

Pipe Dreams (1976) - Gladys Knight goes to Alaska, in a vanity vehicle produced by her real-life abusive husband.

Family Plot (1976) - Hitchcock does a TV movie of the week for Universal TV, but it got released in cinemas. About as cinematic as a Columbo. Actually, less so.

Hitch-Hike (1977) - Extraordinarily odd Italian horror/thriller/treatise of the horror of man, with Franco Nero, Corinne Clery and David Hess, set in a wonderfully odd recreation of New Mexico or Nevada or the generic modern American west in Italy. It's an Italian spaghetti western setting a hundred years later. With fake KFCs and Euro-Texaco stations.

F.I.S.T. (1978) - Not an action, but a sweeping drama about Hoffa, with Sylvester Stallone. Sheffield doubles for Cleveland (Walter Spencer's factory name is visible). Gene Corman produces, but it feels like one of his brother's gangster pictures with a budget. Norman Jewison directs.

Hero at Large (1980) - John Ritter is mistaken as a real superhero while promoting a cheapo-looking movie, Captain Avenger in a cheesy, TV movie-like comedy.

Chinese Stuntman (1981) - Bruce Li gives it his all, but the cut-price production cuts through.

Housekeeping (1987) - Bill Forsyth struggles in Canada.It has a very Vancouver indie feel, a la My American Cousin.

The Fourth Protocol (1987) - A decent if overlong Michael Caine vehicle, a thriller based on a Frederick Forsyth novel, clearly indebted to Le Carre (Ian Richardson basically does Bill Haydon again), with a stonking cast (Pierce Brosnan as the evil Soviet baddie, Ned Beatty, Joanna Cassidy, Julian Glover, Michael Gough, Ray McAnally, Ian Richardson, Anton Rodgers, Caroline Blakiston, Joseph Brady, Matt Frewer, Betsy Brantley, Alan North, Ronald Pickup, Mick Ford, Philip Jackson). It begins with Michael Bilton as Kim Philby getting shot by Russians (all played by Americans or Irish actors doing American-ish accents) and then Brosnan tries to plant a homemade nuke at a US air base. It feels exceedingly Thatcher's Britain. Wrestler Big Daddy appears in a cameo, as Brosnan's introduction to decadent western television is World of Sport.

Withnail and I (1987) - It's just a jumped-up Screen Two or Film on Four.

Madame Bovary (1991) - Dull-but-worthy Chabrol-directed Flaubert adap with Isabelle Huppert.

Heart and Souls (1993) - Schamltzy sub-Burton retro-fantasy comedy with Robert Downey Jr.

Canadian Bacon (1995) - Poor John Candy. Michael Moore is a gobshite, anyway. Still, Anne Murray sings the most haunting song of my childhood.

Ronin (1998) - A decent 70s Europudding thriller that happens to have been made in 1998.

Run Lola Run (1999) - Like an episode of Tatort for the post-Lock Stock gen.

Love is the Devil (1999) - Proto-BBC4 biopic with Derek Jacobi as Francis Bacon  and pre-Bond Daniel Craig, plus Adrian Scarborough as horror-book maestro Daniel Farson. Sleazy nonsense. It feels so telly that it is impossible to imagine this in a cinema.

Flower of Evil (2003)  - Slow Chabrol mediocrity.



EDIT


Love Comes Along (1930 - b/w) - Early talkie musical comedy with Bebe Daniels.

Forbidden Adventure (1931 - b/w) - Pre-code kiddie comedy about kids wandering about. A mess. Edna May Oliver does her thing.

There's Always Tomorrow (-1934 - b/w) - Tedious romance with Frank Morgan and Binnie Barnes.

Stanley and Livingstone (1939 - b/w) - Mix of staid jungle theatrics and actual travelogue footage with Spencer Tracy and Richard Greene.

The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse (1938 - b/w) - Not as amazing as the title suggests. Another Bogie/Edward G crime story.

Confessions of  A Nazi Spy (1939 - b/w) - Edward G. Robinson-helmed propaganda, with California badly doubling for Germany.

Dr. Ehrlich's Magic Bullet (1940 - b/w) - Another Edward G. biopic, solidly furnished, lush but full of unconvincing mittel-Europeana.

The Old Maid (1939 - b/w)/All This and Heaven Too (1940 - b/w)/The Great Lie (1941 - b/w)/In This Our Life (1942 - b/w)/Deception (1946 - b/w) - Bette Davis women's pictures.

They Won't Believe Me (1947 - b/w) - Even the title is generic in this Robert Young noir.

Mark of the Renegade (1951) - Bland exotica Mexican-set swshbuckler with Ricardo Montalban.

Act of Love (1953 - b/w) - Tiresome Kirk Douglas-Dany Robin romance. The only novelty is that Leslie Dwyer is billed over Sydney Chaplin and Brigitte Bardot.

Santiago (1956) - Nothingy Alan Ladd western, only distinguishing factor is it is set in the Chilean swamp-jungles.

Le déjeuner sur l'herbe (1959) - Pretty romantic comedy directed by Jean Renoir that is deliberately styled to look like his dad's paintings.

The Siege of Syracuse (1960) - Forgettable peplum with Rossano Brazzi as Archimedes.

The Colossus of Rhodes (1960) - Sergio Leone's debut. A typical pelum, but with some spectacular tableaux (the raid on the titular statue), but with Rory Calhoun and the Gordon Mitchell-ish Georges Marchal, star of Chateuavallon, it feels interchangeable with the other sword and sandal marathons.

Five Miles to Midnight (1961 - b/w) - Unmemorable stalker-ish Eurothriller with Sophia Loren and Anthony Perkins in France.

13 West Street (1962 - b/w) - Undistinguished Alan Ladd vs JDs cheapie.

All Fall Down (1962 - b/w) - Unlikeable melodrama with Warren Beatty as someone called Berry-Berry, Eva Marie Saint, Brandon de Wilde, Karl Malden and Angela Lansbury playing older. Saint plays Beatty's (admittedly "old maid") girlfriend, Lansbury his mother. Saint is older than Lansbury.

Zotz (1963 - b/w) - Disney-esque Tom Poston as an absent minded professor nonsense from William Castle.

A Fistful of Dollars (1964) - A generic western with some verve, and with that verve, it created a genre.

The Crooked Road (1965 - b/w) - Overlong ITC-ish thriller with Robert Ryan, Stewart Granger, Marius Goring and Nadia Gray  in "Jugoslavia".

Man in the Wilderness (1971) - Despite having a sailing ship on wheels, John Huston, Dennis Waterman and Henry Wilcoxon as a Native American chief, this Richard Harris western is a slog through Spanish sludge. Remade as the Revenant.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - I don't get Python and this is just Gilliam prepping for Jabberwocky.

Alice in the Cities (1974 - b/w)/Kings of the Road (1976 - b/w) - Wim Wenders just driving about the autobahns looking at towns.

Les Magiciens (1976) - Utterly generic Eurocrime with Franco Nero and Gert Frobe. Proof that Claude Chabrol is a hack.

Brubaker (1980) - Typical prison flick with Robert Redford, Morgan Freeman and a cameo by Orinoco Womble.

On Golden Pond (1981) - It's ITC on autopilot, so it feels like a  Movie of the Week.

The Vindicator (1986) - Serviceable Proto-Robocop from Canada with Pam Grier.

Shallow Grave (1994) - Horrible, ugly, dated film-on-Four but it has Chris Tarrant. It seems a pretty random melange of elements from three different stories of Taggart.

Magnolia (1999) - Huh?

The 13th Warrior (1999) - Flop attempt to revive the Peplum, mixing Arabs and Vikings. No Sidney Potter.

Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001) - Like a syndicated Europudding TV series' entire run pulped down to two and a quarter hours.

Monsieur Batignole (2002) - Gérard Jugnot stars and directs in a story of a Rene Artois-esque French bloke protecting kids in WW2. Typical French Cesar bait.

Dancing lady (1937 - b/w) - Routine musical, but early Stooge action alert.

Murder on the Orient Express (1974) - Rewatched it, and isn't it fantastic?

109 (110 including the Cover Girl dupe)

The Jazz Singer (1927 - b/w) - Al Fucking Jolson. For once, Warner Oland looks white. The DVD cover completely downplays the most notorious element about Jolson.

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930 - b/w) - A groundbreaking film, but having these realistic war scrapes in the Universal Little Europe village, well it feels ridiculous. But still powerful.

City Girl (1930 - b/w) - FW Murnau at Fox. Maudlin but well-made.

Platinum Blonde (1931 - b/w) - Jean Harlow in a typical romcom of the era.

I'm No Angel (1933 - b/w) - Mae West/Cary Grant comedy, not the sort of thing I usually enjoy. Why doI watch this? Because it's education.

The Song of Songs (1933 - b/w) -Generic Marlene Dietrich melodrama.


Born to be Bad (1934 - b/w) - Forgettable Fox comedy with Loretta Young and Cary Grant.

Top Hat (1935 - b/w) - I don't get 30s society comedies, but hey, with Fred and Ginger, the dancing will be good.

Mary of Scotland (1936 - b/w) - Typical faux-Scottish period inaccuracy with Katharine Hepburn as the Queen of Scots, and swamps in Scotland.

Holiday (1938 - b/w) - I don't enjoy screwball comedies. Don't ask.
See also Bringing Up Baby (1938 - b/w).

Heidi (1938) - Garish Shirley Temple vehicle, with Jean Hersholt hidden in a big  beard.

Young Mr. Lincoln (1939 - b/w) - Typical 30s Hollywood biopic with Henry Fonda, by John Ford.

The Roaring Twenties (1939 - b/w) - A well-made, possibly definitive gangster movie of its era.

The Mark of Zorro (1940 - b/w) - Typical 1940s swashbuckling and western combined, with lots of walnut juice and Tyrone Power and Basil Rathbone unconvincing Mexicans.

The Stars Look Down (1940 - b/w) - Typical AJ Cronin working class melodrama by Carol Reed.

The Grapes of Wrath (1941 - b/w) - Typical Hollywood Americana of the era.

The Bride Came C.O.D. (1941 - B/W) - Bette Davis and James Cagney in a ghost town bickering.

How Green Was My Valley (1941 - b/w) - Sentimental tosh. It doesn't feel like Wales. It feels like Oireland. Half the cast is Irish, after all.

A Yank in the R.A.F. (1941 - b/w) - Shonky Blitz-era Hollywood morale booster with Tyrone Power.
See also the spiritual Naval-themed sequel, the even shonkier Wing and a Prayer (1944 - b/w).

Buck Privates (1941)/One Night in the Tropics (1940 - b/w) - I don't really get Abbott and Costello. Sorry.

One of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942 - b/w) - Hugh Burden first billed for once (and oddly enough, later in One of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing). Typical WW2 larks from Powell and Pressburger.  First post-credits sequence?

Cover Girl (1944) - Just another 40s musical with Rita Hayworth, plus Gene Kelly.

Fallen Angel (1945) - Dana and Otto try to do Another Laura.

The Wicked Lady (1945 - b/w) - A solid period bodice-ripper, but almost too close to parody.

Mildred Pierce (1946 - b/w) - Typical noir with women's picture elements or a typical women's picture with noir elements.

Anna and the King of Siam (1948 - b/w) - Yellow Rex Harrison and Irene Dnne in faux-Thai gubbins that inspired The King and I.

Here Come The Huggetts (1948)/Vote for Huggett (1949 - b/w) - Baffling 40s comedies with Jack Warner, Kathleen Harrison  and Petula Clark.


Train of Events (1949 - b/w) - A great train smash climaxes a boilerplate Ealing drama split into segments. Still,Miles Malleson with a tache and bald cap.

Portrait of Jennie (1949 - b/w) - Nicely Melies-esque, but it's pretty Oirish (there's a subplot about a pub's Michael Collins painting) and Jennifer Jones as a child is ridiculous (are they using Darby O'Gill-style forced perspective?). And Darby O'Gill is in this.

Adam's Rib (1949 - b/w) - Courtroom romcom. It has spark, but I don't warm to courtrooms or romcoms.

In A Lonely Place (1950 - b/w) - Typical Bogie noir.

The Magnet (1950 - b/w) - James Fox is a little Scouse toff, who being a member of the Fox clan, you want to punch.

All About Eve (1950 - b/w) - It's well-made, but it's not my kind of thing per se. But I can see why it works. Anne Baxter always has madness in her eyes, and I like that.

David and Bathsheba (1951) - Generic biblical cobblers with Susan Hayward and Gregory Peck.

Quo Vadis (1951) - The gladiator movie at its most queer, mainly because of the sheer drama queen performance of Peter Ustinov as Nero, in his tiara and purple dress, singing with a harp in his hand.  The rest is typical 50s epic preaching and generic spectacle, but Ustinov was born to play the self-obssessed, Trumpian cherub.

Circle of Danger (1951 - b/w) - Ray Milland in a tedious quota quickie with ballroom scenes, Marius Goring and Naunton Wayne. Has Milland as an American in Wales. It tells, but doesn't show.

Angels one five (1952 - b/w) - Typical war gubbins.

Roman Holiday (1953 - b/w) - It's just high-class Queensploitation.

From Here to Eternity (1953 - b/w) - Feels smaller than I imagined. Somehow always remembered it being in color.

The Red Beret (1953) - Miserable, stiff, staid British war generica with Alan Ladd shoehorned in.

The Robe (1953)/Demetrius and the Gladiators (1953) - A two-part film. Beautifully staged biblical cobblers. Jay Robinson clearly inspired Kenneth Williams as Caesar. Victor Mature is outacted by both Richard Burton and William Marshall (cast in a role way beneath him).

Salome (1953) - Stewart Granger and Rita Rayworth in tacky clor Biblical pulp. Charles Laughton is Herod. There's dancing sequences. Alan Badel is the Baptist. Arnold "Kodos the Executioner" Moss and Judith Anderson (as Herodias) pop up, while there is some PG-rated gore because hey, this is Biblical, so it is safe, so we can have a bloodied, decapitated head on a platter.

The Glenn Miller Story (1954) - Average schmaltzy biopic.

You Know What Sailors Are (1954) - A 50s Rank comedy, generic in its outline but actually an unfunny if attractively garish adventure-comedy with Donald Sinden, Sarah Lawson, Akim Tamiroff as a North African dictator, Naunton Wayne, Martin Miller as a mad scientist,   and Ken Annakin bringing a 50s exotica feel to the setting.

3 Coins in the Fountain (1954) - Touristy studio romance. Rossano Brazzi and Louis Jourdan (hey ,a Frankenstein and a Dracula) play Italians who seduce Americans.

East of Eden (1955) - Typical 50s epic melodrama of the era.

D-Day, the 6th of June (1956) - Typical British WW2 antics with Robert Taylor and Richard Todd, except it's really the Fox lot. Features ads for Bovril.

Heaven Knows Mr. Allison (1957) - Deborak Kerr plays Sister Clodagh again essentially, but this time she's with Robert Mitchum on an island.

An Affair to Remember (1957) - Generic romance, a weepie with Deborah Kerr as "an invalid". It portrays the BBC recording suite as a dining room with a photo of the Queen in the back. Probably the same BBC in Escape from the Planet of the Apes.

The One Who Got Away (1957 - b/w) - An atypical WW2 movie shot in a typical WW2 movie style, following the hardships of Nazi twink Hardy Kruger as he treks along, eventually to the frozen wastes of Sweden-as-Canada.

Il Grido (1957 - b/w) - From Antonioni-on-oni, arty Italiana.

Funny Face (1957) - Audrey and Fred Stair. Typical plush musical.

The Hidden Fortress (1958 - b/w) - George Lucas' shooting style in Star Wars (plus plot and character) cribbed from this, and hey, Kurosawa does it better, because Kurosawa was a genius and Lucas is a hack.

The Quiet American (1958 - b/w) - Awful, overlong Graeme Greene adap with Mediterranean-looking Vietnamese ladies and Michael Redgrave trying to save the thing, because his costar is the baby-faced soldier boy himself, Audie Murphy, a great man but not a  great actor.

Dunkirk (1958 - b/w) - A muddled but competent Mills-Attenborough teamup/ensemble piece featuring Bad Flanagan and Chesney Allen, and directed by Barry Norman's dad.

The Defiant Ones (1958 - b/w) - Sidney Potter and Stony Curtis go on  a run together while Lon Chaney Jr and Theodore Bikel lag behind.

Mr. Hulot's Holiday (1959 - b/w) -  Tati is an acquired taste.

Spartacus (1960) - A typical epic, but it's well-made.

The Mountain Road (1960 - b/w) - Dreary war film with James Stewart and Lisa Lu.

Elmer Gantry (1960) - Wonderfully shot, but way too long.

North to Alaska  (1960) - Generic Northern with John Wayne and Stewart Granger joined by the of-the-time likes of Fabian, Capucine and Ernie Kovacs.

The Children's Hour (1961) - Shirley and Audrey in an overcooked melodrama about lesbian teachers.

The Nun's Story (1961) - Well-made People's Friend stuff with Audrey Hepburn and an all-star cast of good character actors. Weird to see Rosalie Crutchley over Colleen Dewhurst.

Le Doulos (1961 - b/w) - Melville, good for what it is. But not my kind of actioner.
Also saw Un Flic (1972), which at least has some fun modelwork.
See also the overlong Le deuxième souffle (1966).

The 300 Spartans (1962) - Generic peplum antics with a budget and a cast.

La Dolce Vita (1963 - b/w) - I don't quite enjoy this era of Fellini. Too show-offy.

Tom Jones (1963)  - Obnoxious period romp.

The Leather Boys (1964 - b/w) - Kitchen sink biker exploitation pic set in Butlin's, with added Rita Tushingham and homoerotic overtones and Dudley Sutton. As grim as that sounds.

The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) - The same old story told with a galaxy of stars (mis)cast as the biblical standbys. Dorothy McGuire is the world's oldest virgin.

Mirage (1965 - b/w) - Serviceable but unmemorable NYC thriller with Gregory Peck.

The Mona Lisa Has Been Stolen (1966) - Forgettable Euro-caper with George Chakiris in period France.

Hawaii (1966)/The Hawaiians (1970) - Sluggish but beautifully shot epic adaptation of James Michener's novel. Max Von Sydow for once looks young and fit.

The Family Way (1966) - Kitchen sink drama for the British Invasion era. Same Bolton locations would reappear in Phoenix Nights. John Mills plays Hayley Mills' father-in-law. That must have caused words between characters. John Comer is her character's putative dad. But this isn't a film about incest, so I digress.

Fellini Satyricon (1969) - Beautiful but offputtingly tacky camp.

A Severed Head (1970) - Annoying Iris Murdoch-Dick Clement spouse-swapping sexcom with Remick, Holm, Attenborough and Bloom.

Fiddler on the Roof (1971) - It looks nice, it sounds nice, at times, but it is a slog.

Shaft (1971) - Such an authentic capturing of New York of the era that you can smell the moisture.

American Graffiti (1973) - Annoying. somewhat mature teens help George Lucas' career.

Love and Death (1975) - It looks gorgeous, great use of Prokofiev, and there are some nice jokes but Allen's presence just sours it. A lot of jokes recur. "A piece of land", "A lock of her hair".  James Tolkan is fun as Napoleon. Weird to see Howard Vernon in something lush. At least, it doesn't outstay its welcome. In fact, it feels like there is not much plot. It's supposed to be this great grand epic, but i has a TV movie length.

Interiors (1978) - Almost a thriller from  Woody Allen. No comedy, but no thrills. Cold and clinical. And depressing.

Being There (1979) - Peter Seller plays an eejit who watches PBS and Mumbly (not Muttley, Mumbly - his Columbo-ish cousin/stand-in), so people think he is smart. He switches over from Sesame Street to Mr. Rogers, so he must be watching rival PBS stations. He gets exploited, enjoys seeing Shirley MacLaine wank and then turns out to be Christ reborn.

Stardust Memories (1980) - Fuck off.

Nine to Five (1980) - The topic of three women in the workplace and the bland mainstream US comedy look of the era puts me off, but I didn't expect the weird noir/animation touches.

Zelig (1983) - So well-crafted that it is not at all funny. It's just a PBS doc.

Cheech and Chong's Corsican Brothers (1984) - Like the final chapter of History of the World Part 1, but even worse.

My Life as a Dog (1985) - Likeable CFF-ish antics.

Colonel Redl (1985) - Overlong miniseries-like exploration of the Austro-Hungarian empire, with Klaus Maria Brandauer.

Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) - The sort of relationship comedy I don't gel with. Plus it feels creepy when you realise it's about Allen and Farrow's sisters.

The Mission (1986) - At least, it looks nice.

Big Trouble (1987) - Unmemorable mainstream comedy directed by John Cassavetes.

Radio Days (1987) - Mia Farrow looks more 80s when in 40s gear.

September (1987) - Just Denholm Elliott and Elaine Stritch moaning and drinking, like in a Tales of the Unexpected.

Another Woman (1988) - With Ian Holm in this, and Denholm, Stritch, Ferrer elsewhere, did Woody have a hard-on for Tales of the Unexpected... Forgettable sub-TV movie drama.

Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989) - Allen at his most tiring and quasi-intellectual.

Cinema Paradiso (1990) - It looks nice. And Philippe Noiret is always good.

Alice (1990) - That awful Farrow woman, but at least Allen gives Keye Luke stuff to do.

Les Amants Du Pont-Neuf (1991) - More Binoche-Carax-Lavant arthouse bullshitting about the homeless of Paris.

Ulysses Gaze (1995) - Harvey Keitel travels back in time to Soviet Russia, or does he?

Hurlyburly (1998) - Like most 90s ensemble satires, it has dated horribly, but it has Kevin Spacey at his most charismatic and attractive (peroxide blonde hair - he looks Plummer-esque in some shots, other times like Bob Mortimer as the grandson in the Eagle has Landed-parodying pre-titles of the Smell of Reeves and Mortimer). Damn you, Kevin, why did you turn to be such a horrible faux-Southern monster? What a crock of shite. The film, that is.

Faust - Love of the Damned (1999) - Tacky (it's Spanish, what do you expect - class) Brian Yuzna-directed superhero-demon grossness.

Shin Godzilla (2016)  - Tiresome reboot.

Incident in a Ghostland (2017)  - Dull, quiet, LOUD, LOUD, dull, dull, LOUD, LOUD, dull, dull, dull.

100

Danger Lights (1930 - b/w) - Forgettable peril with Jean Arthur as an Irish bride.

Bird of Paradise (1932 - b/w) - Primitive but suitably exotic vehicle for Dolores Del Rio and Joel McCrea.

Blind Adventure (1933 - b/w) - Forgettable London-set faux-quickie with Robert Armstrong and Ralph Bellamy.

Dangerous Corner (1934 - b/w) - Unmemorable JB Priestly parlour room mystery with Melvyn Douglas.

Transatlantic Merry Go Round (1934 - b/w) - Jack Benny variety show-with-a-mystery-subplot on a cruise.

The Last Days of Pompeii (1935 - b/w) - Preston Foster is annoying. Basil Rathbone sneers and is camp. Overwrought Roman melodrama about fatherhood.

Seven Keys to Baldpate (1935 - b/w) - Another generic Old Dark House pic.

The Informer (1935 - b/w) - It doesn't work because of how horribly Oirish and unconvincing the whole venture is.

One Rainy Afternoon (1936 - b/w) - Failed vehicle for Francis Lederer, opposite Ida Lupino. Another "man-about-town" comedy that doesn't last in the head.

When Thief Meets Thief (1937 - b/w) - Forgettable quota thriller with Douglas Fairbanks romping around London.

Blind Alibi (1938 - b/w) - Terrible B-picture with Richard Dix feigning blindness and Ace the Wonder Dog.

Young in Heart (1938 - b/w) - Smile-worthy but hardly rib-tickling con comedy with Douglas Fairbanks Jnr, Janet Gaynor, Roland Young and Paulette Goddard.`

Pacific Liner (1939 - b/w) - Victor McLaglen in an undistinguished actioner from RKO.

The Mad Miss Manton (1939 - b/w) - Generic crime-con despite Stanwyck and Fonda. Hattie McDaniel gives it her all as the maid (what else, sigh...).

The Housekeeper's Daughter (1939 - b/w) - Basic Hal Roach fedoras 'n' cops slapstick with Joan Bennett. Victor Mature appears briefly but recognisably.

Eternally Yours (1939 - b/w) - Nothingy romance with David Niven doing magic and  Loretta Young.

Band Waggon (1940 - b/w) - ArthurAskey and Stinker Murdoch run a pirate TV station atop BBC Broadcasting House.

Swiss Family Robinson (1940 - bw) - Not great, Disney shouldn't have buried it. It wasn't worth it.

You'll Never Get Rich (1941 - b/w) - Typical dance flick with Fred Stair (sic) plus Rita Hayworth.

Once Upon A Honeymoon (1942 - b/w) - Ginger Rogers and Cary Grant in a sentimental anti-Nazi romcom, with obvious modelwork and Nazi Walter Slezak.

Whistling in Dixie (1942 - b/w) - Unfunny hillbilly horror-comedy with Red Skelton.

Tortilla Flat (1942 - b/w) - Hedy Lamarr, Spencer Tracy and John Garfield are unconvincing Mexicans.

A Guy Named Joe (1943 - b/w) - Sentimental MGM claptrap with Spencer Tracy's ghost and Irene Dunne. A very unconvincing England at the start, despite a tiny Edward Hardwicke. Another Junior Watson.

Guest in the House (1944 - b/w) - Generic noir, though Anne Baxter is memorably mad, and falls off a cliff.

The Story of GI Joe (1945 - B/W) - Sentimental but heavily authentic feeling story of Ernie Pyle, with Burgess Meredith and Robert Mitchum.

Betrayal from the East (1945 - b/w) - Forgettable RKO war-progaganda.

Bells of St. Mary's (1945 - b/w) - Sentimental Catholic propaganda.

Having Wonderful Crime (1945 - b/w) - Generic B-picture with Pat O'Brien and Carole Landis.

Conflict (1945 - b/w) - Generic noir with Bogie and Greenstreet, plus Alexis Smith.

It's In The Bag (1945 - b/w) - Bland 40s comedy with Don Ameche, Jack Benny and Fred Allen. Baffling to non-Americans.

Boom in the Moon (1946 - b/w) - Godawful Mexican comedy with Buster Keaton slumming it.

The Green Years (1946 - b/w) - Strange MGM Scottish answer to How Green Was My Valley, with Dean Stockwell doing a strange accent as an Irish orphan raised in Scotland. Features Hume Cronyn in Paw Broon mode, with Jessica Tandy, pregnant with their child during filming as his daughter, despite being two years older than her on-screen father/off-screen husband, and of course, they look the same age. It all goes downhill when Dean mutates into the wooden Tom Drake, as bland as Stockwell is offbeat.

Nobody Lives Forever (1946 - b/w) - A generic noir, despite John Garfield's presence.
See also Out of the Fog (1941 - b/w) with annoyingly cheery Oirish Thomas Mitchell, The Fallen Sparrow (1943 - b/w, with Maureen O'Hara), Dangerously, They Live (1941 - b/w) and the To Have and To Have Not remake The Breaking Point (1950 - b/w).

Nocturne (1946 - b/w) - Undistinguished noir with George Raft about a composer and his framed lady friend (Morecambe and Wise favourite Lynn Bari).

Brief Encounter (1946 - b/w) - Meh. It has been parodied so many times that it kind of loses that power.
See also The Passionate Friends (1949 - b/w)- Lean one of dozens of filmmakers who were convinced Ann Todd was eternally young.

Riffraff (1947 - b/w) - Decent-for-what-it-is B-noir starring Pat O'Brien and sinister-but-at-times-ludicrous Walter Slezak.

Smash-Up (1947 - b/w) - Unmemorable melodrama with Susan Hayward.

Body and Soul (1947 - b/w) - Well, made-atmospheric, but I'm not a boxing fan.

The Farmer's Daughter (1947 - b/w) - Swedish Loretta Young is annoying. Joseph Cotten looks bored.

Christmas Eve (1947 - b/w) - Forgettable Maughamesque anthology with George Raft and Randolph Scott.

Ride the Pink Horse (1947 - b/w) - Typical border noir, but possibly an influence on Touch of Evil.

Sinbad the Sailor (1947) - Sir Douglas Fairbanks Jr (yes, I know it was only an honorary knighthood, but he lived in the UK, and his accent was sort of RP) isn't bad as Sinbad,  His schtick is he's a storyteller, and he brings relish. But it is routine panto-ish Arabian Nights fantasy. Walter Slezak in yellowface leaves a nasty taste in the mouth, while Maureen O'Hara is nominally ludicrous as an Arab princess, even though I know Middle Eastern folk can be red-haired, like that Iraqi general who looked like Denis Lill.  It is an accomplished production unlike the later Son of Sinbad (1955), a ramshackle amount of exotica tack with Dale Robertson a cardboard lead and even Vincent Price fading into the tacky backgrounds and reused outfits and sets.

The Girl from Manhattan (1948 - b/w) - Rote Dorothy Lamour comedy, with Charles Laughton doing it for a cheque, probably.

Red Light (1949 - b/w) - Bland noir with George Raft trucking.

Too Late for Tears (1949 - b/w) - Forgettable noir with Lizabeth Scott and Arthur Kennedy.

Home of the Brave (1949 - b/w) - Based on a novel about Jews, but to avoid too many films about anti-semitism, James Edwards was cast and so this is an early Hollywood war film with an African-American lead. Solid World War 2 fare, though a little gung-ho for my tastes.

Jigsaw (1949 - b/w) - Dreary Danziger's anti-xenophobia noir with Franchot Tone and lots of cameos from big stars who did it for the cause not for the money, because it's Danziger's - the cheapest men in Britain.

The Lucky Stiff (1949 - b/w) - Unamusing alleged comedy with Brian Donlevy.

The Barkleys of Broadway (1949) - Fred Stair and Ginger Biscuits in a faded-Technicolor musical.

Caged (1950 - b/w) - Underrated, grim, tough women's prison film, possibly the best of its genre.

My Favourite Spy (1951 - b/w) -Generic Bob Hope vehicle.

Double Dynamite (1951 - b/w) - Groucho needs Harpo and Chico, not Jane Russell and Sinatra.

The Tall Target (1951 - B/W) - Unmemorable though interesting western-ish Lincoln-themed Victorian train thriller, with a young Ruby Dee.

Remains to be Seen (1953 - b/w) - Genre-confused comedy-musical-sleepwalking-thriller with June Allyson, Van Johnson, Angela Lansbury and Dorothy Dandridge.

The Desert Rats (1953 - b/w) - Typical WW2 gung-ho commando stuff that is also the Desert Fox Part 2. For once, Burton plays Welsh.

The Moon is Blue (1953 - b/w) - Generic romcom with William Holden and David Niven, and the quickly-forgotten Maggie McNamara. The highlight is a fake ad involving Henry VIII.

Appointment in Honduras (1953) - Ann Sheridan and Glenn Ford in a forgettable jungle actioner.
See also  other RKO exotica like Escape to Burma (1955) with Robert Ryan and Barbara Stanwyck and sets reused from Sinbad, Macao (1952 - b/w) with Jane Russell and Robert Mitchum, and Pearl of the South Pacific (1955) with Virginia Mayo.

The Beachcomber (1954) - Robert Newton, Glynis Johns and Donald Sinden in a remake of the old chestnut. Colourful but not very good. Donald Pleasence makes  an early appearance in walnut juice.

The Barefoot Contessa (1954) - Typical romantic drama with Ava Gardner as Rita Hayworth. Typical Hollywood melodramatics. Humphrey humphs. Marius Goring tries to be Hispanic.

Hell and High Water (1954) - Samuel Fuller directs Richard Widmark in this serviceable submarine thriller with some interludes around the world that were either shot on location or convincingly faked using back projection.

The Teckman Mystery (1954) - Otherwise average 50s thriller with Margaret Leighton that has an intriguing twist re - the villain being the protagonist.

A Town Like Alice (1956 - b/w)- 50s Tenko (Jean Anderson!) meets outback romance.

Omar Khayyam (1957) - Bland exotica at its most undistinguished. Despite the setting, Yma Sumac is wheeled out.

12 Angry Men (1957 - b/w) - A good TV play.

A Face in the Crowd (1957 - b/w) - Being Irish, to me Andy Griffith is Matlock. The Andy Griffith Show I don't think ever even made Ireland. This film is not my thing. He is a revelation. He seems to be the character, but he wasn't.  He seems to be a folksy aw shucks Will Rogers-type, but he's a monster.  Not quite the sort of film I'd call something I'd like, but Andy Griffith in this may be one of the best performances I have ever seen. Even from the start, people think he's funny but he comes across as fearsome despite the humour. There's an underlying threat.

The Devil's Disciple (1959 - b/w) - Colonial-era America-set boredom with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas versus bewigged military bods Harry Andrews and Larry Olivier.

Classes Tous Risques (1960 - b/w) - Unexciting, rather dreary, grim gangster film with Lino Ventura and Belmondo.

The Fugitive Kind (1960 - b/w) - Depressing Tennessee Williams nonsense with Anna Magnani and Marlon Brando too old, Joanne Woodward going mad and rare product placement for  Barr's Royal Crown Cola.

Make Mine Mink (1960  - b/w) - Another generic Terry-Thomas vehicle.

Irma La Douce (1963) - o comedy should be 2 and a half hours and this expensive AND sentimental.

Psyche 59 (1964 - b/w) - Dreary psychodrama with Patricia Neal, Samantha Eggar, Curt/Curd Jurgens, Ian Bannen and Beatrix Lehmann.

Topkapi (1964) - I've always found Melina Mercouri scary, perhaps even creepy. As a child, I wondered, "Am I supposed to be like her or feel intimidated?" Even Maximillian Schell feels off in a heroic role, and cuddly Peter Ustinov as a Brummie is left to carry this misbegotten Eurocaper. Ustinov is the lead but  Jules Dassin is obviously more interested in the wretched Mercouri.

Hide and Seek (1964 - b/w) - Ian Carmichael, a Prunella Scales-esque Janet Munro, Hugh Griffith and Curd Jurgens star in a forgettable  thriller-comedy.

The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming (1966) - Another overlong schtick-heavy comedy full of Alan Arkin looking like Kulvinder Ghir, mugging.

Cast A Giant Shadow (1966) - Overlong Zionist all-star propaganda.

The Blonde from Peking (1967) - Forgettable Eurospy with Mireille Darc, Claudio Brook and Edward G. Robinson, based allegedly on a James Hadley Chase novel.

Marat/Sade (1967) - A load of agitprop shite.

Bullitt (1968)- A thin B-movie idea stretched to infinity.

Charge of the Light Brigade (1968) - It only works with the Richard Williams animation stuff. The rest is kind of samey.

The Devil's Brigade (1968) - Overstacked, unconvincing, flatly shot war epic with William Holden and a galaxy of character actors from Dana Andrews and Richard Jaeckel to Richard Dawson and Jack Watson.

OSS 117  - DOUBLE AGENT (1968) - Terrible, simultaneously large but quite cramped Bond imitation with John Gavin, himself a nearly-Bond against Curt Jurgens, in proto-Stromberg mode, whose base is a tiny office in a rundown mansion in the jungle, and his sidekick a gormless George Eastman. It's a typical Eurospy, with big aspirations and globe-trotting but unable to afford ace set design and with dubbing, unable to get properly characteristic acting. Everything is surface. Also, Luciana Paluzzi pops up doing Fiona Volpe from Thunderball again, essentially.

The Damned (1969) - Homoerotic Nazi nonsense. It's not art. It's smut.

This Stuff'll Kill Ya (1972) - HG Lewis hillbilly tosh. God Tim Holt looks rough.

The Gore Gore Girls (1972) - Herschell Gordon Lewis' last true gore-opus. Even more ramshackle and much sleazier than normal, plus Henny Youngman.

Medusa (1973) - Unadventurous George Hamilton thriller.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) - I find this crass, tacky and obnoxious. The opening Denton bits have a nice Aussie New Wave feel, apt considering director Jim Sharman was an Aussie. And Charles Gray is fun, but no, I never warmed to this.

The Tenant (1976) - Roman Polanski cosplays as Gail from Coronation Street in this pervy, nonsensical, creepy Eurohorror, which despite the director, is no different from any Eurohorror. It even has a dodgy dub by Robert Rietty.

Quadrophenia (1979) - Basically a TV play. It'svery shoddy with period details. There's ads for Heaven Can Wait, despite all the posters of Cliff, and parents watching B/W Avengers and Ready Steady Go is supposedly new.

Apocalypse Now (1979) - What a load of tosh. A Namsploitation film about surfers trned into an over-elaborate epic. Cluttered. Plus Coppola  like so many wastes Colleen Camp.

The Jigsaw Man (1984) - the 80s British film at its skankiest despite having both Sir Michael Caine and Lord Olivier, it has all the charm and style of an episode of Dempsey and Makepeace, with a sub-LeCarre espionage plot involving doubles, the points of interest include Susan George's flat full of product placement for Fairy liquid, Perrier water and a David Hockney calendar, and David Kelly using a funny accent.

Fort Saganne (1984) - Sumptuous but not-particularly-endearing French flop - Zulu Dawn meets March or Die, complete with Catherine Deneuve. From that period when every French film either had Philippe Noiret or Gerard Depardieu.

100

It Happened One Night (1934 - b/w) - I don't get screwball comedies. Is it cos I'm asexual?

Satan Met  A Lady (1936 - b/w) - Early Maltese Falcon with Bette Davis, forgettable fluff.

Made for Each Other (1939 - b/w) - Lombard and Stewart in a bog-standard romantic drama.

Vigil in the Night (1940 - b/w) - Carole Lombard stars in this faux- Yorkshire Hollywood AJ Cronin tearjerker. Typical Hollywood Faux-British drama, but with some actual Northern accents in the form of Will Hay/George Formby stooge Julien Mitchell in one of his few Hollywood sojourns and Peter Cushing doing his Shopkeeper-in-From-Beyond-the-Grave accent.

The Moon and Sixpence (1942 - b/w) - Sentimental fictionalisation of Gauguin with George Sanders.

The Jungle Book (1942) - I saw this as a kid, and didn't like it. Twenty years later, I now see it as trying to be a faithful adaptation, but with aside from Sabu and Noble Johnson (an African-American!), a mostly-browned up cast, it feels not too distant from the Maria Montez vehicles that Sabu would end up in. It has beautiful colour and production design, but it can't decide if it is a prize piece of pulp or a rather slow, faithful adaptation. It's not quite as good as the thrilling, colourful Thief of Bagdad (1940), with Sabu.

Bombay Clipper (1942 - b/w) - Nothingy Universal B-picture.

The Falcon and the Co-Eds (1943 - b/w) - Generic, sub-Lewton RKO mystery folderol.

Mademoiselle Fifi (1944 -b/w) - Generic period romp from Val Lewton.

Spellbound (1945 - b/w) - Not weird enough.

Mr. Ace (1946 - b/w) - Undistinguished political drama with George Raft and Sylvia Sidney.

Colonel Effingham's Raid (1946 - b/w) - Forgettable regional comedy from Fox.

Diary of a Chambermaid (1946 - b/w) - Typical Hollywood romance with Paulette Goddard and future Irish resident Hurd Hatfield. Despite Jean Renoir at the helm.

The Strange Woman (1946 - b/w) - Edgar Ulmer-directed period gothic programmer with Hedy Lamarr and George Sanders.

Sleep, My Love (1946 - b/w) - Claudette Colbert, Don Ameche and a very hammy George Coulouris in another mad woman noir. By Douglas Sirk.

A Scandal in Paris (1946 - b/w) - Generic swashbuckling period piece with George Sanders.

Whistle Stop (1946 - b/w) - Generic noir with Ava Gardner and George Raft.

The Other Love (1947 - b/w) - Swiss semi-noir romantic dirge with David Niven and Barbara Stanwyck.

Dishonored Lady  (1947 - b/w) - Hedy Lamarr in unmemorable noir.

The Macomber Affair (1947 - b/w) - Tiresome safari with Joan Bennett, Gregory Peck and Robert Preston.

Born To Kill (1947)  - Typical noir. Lawrence Tierney feels like a tough dragged onto the stage. Elisha Cook does his face.

Carnegie Hall (1947 - b/w) - Tedious concert film with soap elements. By Edgar Ulmer.

The Private Affairs of Bel Ami (1947 - b/w) - George Sanders and Angela Lansbury (convincingly adult at 22) in another old Hollywood piece of tiresome period romantica.

The Woman in Brown (1948 - b/w) - Forgettable UA-distributed cheapie courtroom noir.

The Argyle Secrets (1948 - b/w) - Film Classics poverty noir with William Gargan.

Conspirator (1948 - b/w) - Sub-Hitchcock MGM British thrill-romance gaslighter with Robert and Elizabeth Taylor swapping nationality.

The Men (1950 - b/w) - Marlon Brando's early role in an awkward story of disabled vets.

The Sound of Fury (1950 - b/w) - Unmemorable noir with Lloyd Bridges.

The Second Woman (1950 - b/w) - Forgettable gothic with Robert Young, sub-Rebecca.`

The Admiral was a Lady (1950 - b/w) - Forgettable cheapo comedy with Edmond O'Brien.

The Magnificent Yankee (1950 - b/w) - Louis Calhern is solid, but this is an average political biopic.

The  Kangaroo Kid (1951 - b/w) - Australian western with Jock Mahoney, could easily be American, just as forgettable.

The Well (1951 - b/w) - Vivid if somewhat caricatured noir-docudrama about a little girl who falls down a well. Problem is she's black.

Another Man's Poison (1951 - b/w) - Bette Davis and husband Gary Merrill in a cheap, undistinguished British thriller, the highlight of which is Davis' climactic manic laughter.

The First Legion (1951 - b/w) - Charles Boyer and Leo G. Carroll in preachy religious schmaltz.

When I Grow Up (1951 - b/w) - Ill-fated child star/Disney boy Bobby Driscoll stars in this schmaltzy circus-themed family bonding story.

The Lady Says No (1951) - Despite a surrealistic dream sequence involving drumming James Robertson Justice and cannibal bait David Niven, forgettable comedy for Joan Caulfield.

Three Steps North (1951 - b/w) - Dreary Italian noir with Lloyd Bridges.

The River (1951) - I like the cinematography, but Renoir seems far too interested in Esmond Knight and his awful family.

People will Talk (1951 - b/w) - Sentimental comedy with Cary Grant. Everett Sloane is annoying. It has an odd tone, and bores with his constant politicking.

Moulin Rouge (1952) - I cannot take this seriously because of Jose Ferrer's ridiculous appearance as Toulouse-Lautrec with his false legs hiding his walking on knees, plus he plays his own dad.

Bwana Devil (1952) - Terrible African nonsense with Robert Stack and Scottish Nigel Bruce, only remembered for being the first 3-D feature. The action is forgettable.

Actors and Sin (1952 - b/w) - Forgettable Edward G. Robinson-starring Maughamesque two-story.

Dangerous When Wet (1953)  - Esther Williams goes around the fake Channel and swims with Jerry Mouse.

Wicked Woman (1953 - b/w) - Typical low-rent noir.

Return To Paradise (1953) - Sentimental alleged comedy tropicana with Gary Cooper.

Personal Affair (1953 - b/w) - Eady level bargain suspenser with Gene Tierney, Glynis Johns, Leo Genn and teen Nanette Newman.

The Man Between (1953 - b/w) - Dowdy Cold War romance with James Mason, Claire Bloom and Hildegarde Knef.

Shield For Murder (1954 - b/w) - Dreary copboiler with Edmond O'Brien an unlikely ladies' man.

Storm Fear (1955 - b/w) - Dreary snowbound Cornel Wilde noir.

A Bullet for Joey (1955- b/w) - Raft and Robinson in a basic noir, the only difference the nominal Montreal setting.

Mr. Roberts (1955) - Sentimental rot.

The Naked Street (1955 - b/w) - Bland gangster melodrama with Anthony Quinn and Anne Bancroft.

Desert Sands (1955 ) - White Arabs galore in this western-like Foreign Legion silliness with Ralph Meeker and Arab girls dressed like teens at a diner.

The Big Knife (1955 - b/w) - Intriguing but sluggish Aldrich meta-noir with Ida Lupino, Jack Palance, Rod Steiger and Miss Shelley Winters, as she is billed, which makes her sound like a drag act.

Not As A Stranger (1955 - b/w) - Ludicrous medical school drama, Sinatra and Robert Mitchum (looking weirdly like Bill Murray at times) are unconvincing as students. Olivia De Havilland even more so as the "older woman". Lon Chaney Jr. pops up.

The Harder They Fall (1956 - b/w) - I didn't enjoy it, but it aptly captures what I feel boxing was of that era. Bogie's last film. He looks rough, but then he never looked healthy.

Nightmare (1956 - b/w) - Generic, nothingy noir with Edward G. Robinson and Kevin McCarthy, paranoid as always.

The Boss (1956 - b/w) - Generic gangster melodrama with John Payne.

Bandido (1956) - Generic Mexican-set western with Robert Mitchum.

Flight to Hong Kong (1956 - b/w) - Dreary Asian travelogue with Rory Calhoun standing and walking about.

The Sharkfighters (1956) - Dreary war fare with Victor Mature.

Time Limit (1957) - Grim war trial with Richards Widmark and Basehart.

Jungle Heat (1957 - b/w) - Lex Barker in a forgettable tropic timewaster.

The Big Boodle (1957 - b/w) - Dodgy adventure with Errol Flynn in Cuba.

Paths of Glory (1957 - b/w) - A well-made war movie, nothing more, nothing less.

Anna Lucasta (1958) - Forgettable African-Americanisation of a Paulette Goddard vehicle starring Sammy Davis Jr and Eartha Kitt.  I remember the poster in a David Thomson book.

The Gun Runners (1958 - b/w) - To Have Or Have Not with Audie Murphy and Eddie Albert. Typical 50s tropicana B-movie dreck.

Ten Seconds to Hell (1959 - b/w) - Confused, tedious post-war Berlin actioner with Jack Palance and Jeff Chandler as Germans. Weirdly a Hammer production, despite a mainly US cast and crew - Robert Aldrich as director.

A Terrible Beauty (1959) - Richard Harris gets a weird "and" "co-starring" credit after anyone, but he gets his own caption, even though this was an early role. Robert Mitchum and Dan O'Herlihy (around the time he accidentally christened Adele King Twink during a ballet recital) star. Joe Lynch has no tache or stubble. Tiresome Norn Iron-set Oirish action. My grandad met Mitchum on this. Didn't like him.

Captured (1959 - b/w) - Never meant to be seen outside military procedures, this is a taut little military information film about the dangers of fighting with the Red Chinese. Weird to see Bernard Fox in a grim POW setting pre-Hogan's  Heroes.

The Man in the Net (1959 - b/w) - Curtiz and Alan Ladd reduced to this forgettable lynching cheapie.

Ocean's 11 (1960) - Jeez the Rat Pack were smug.

X-15 (1961) - Cheerless proto-Right Stuff from Richard Donner, with Charles Bronson and Mary Tyler Moore.

Paris Blues (1961 - b/w) - I suppose this Paul Newman-Sidney Poitier-Louis Armstrong-Diahann Carroll-Joanne Woodward jazz yarn accurately captures the 60s jazz era, but it's not  an era I am bothered in.

Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title (1966 - b/w) - Terrible poverty row It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World filled with cameos, but starring a Dick Van Dyke Show-era Morey Amsterdam and Rose Marie.

Viva Maria! (1965) -  Beginning in an Irish castle ruin, this is another IRA Mexican Revolution Eurowestern (like  A Fistful of Dynamite), it's almost fun, but it feels quite mechanical and suffers from that weird French sense of humour. And it's also a musical, Brigitte Bardot and Francoise Dorleac do music numbers. It's a bit confused. Like A Fistful of Dynamite, it is completely historically inaccurate, shifting the Revolution to about ten-fifteen years early.

Made in USA (1966) - Fuck off, Godard.

La Musica (1967) - Artsy nonsense with Robert Hossein and Delphine Seyrig, from Marguerite Duras.

Tobruk (1967) - Cheap-feeling Gene Corman war movie that despite having Rock Hudson and Geore Peppard when they were still film stars, still feels like a TV show from the era.

Shock troops (1967) Possibly Costa-Gavras' best film. Gritty, unlikeable, clinical but captures the horrors of war via a men-on-a-mission movie. With Bruno Cremer and Michel Piccoli leading a solid cast. Produced by Harry Saltzman, this was  a major flop.

Le Demoniaque (1968) - Dreary but sunny French Eurospy-ish James Hadley Chase thriller.

A Touch of Love (1968) - Standard though decent pregnancy drama, Sandy Dennis quite convincing as a British student, Ian McKellen playing himself thanks to Margaret Drabble basing the character on him. Feels a bit telly, but then it is Waris Hussein.

Coogan's Bluff (1968) - Clint Eastwood IS McCloud. With Susan Clark as the not-ill-fated-for-a-change love interest. It's weird seeing Clint in something relatively TV-like, being a Universal production of the late 60s. No wonder it spawned a series, though one with a different, less realist, more fantastical character. You wouldn't see Coogan fight Dracula or team up with Adam Faith to fight the IRA at Buck House.

The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) - Always found this smug.

The Gypsy Moths (1969) - A soap opera with skydiving.

The Love God (1969) - It feels like a Disney comedy gone dirty, because of Don Knotts and his sexy entourage (including trans woman Aleshia Brevard). It's an odd film. It doesn't quite work. I can see why it flopped. Dispiriting, as Leslie Halliwell puts it.

Three Into Two Won't Go (1969) - Dreary Rod Steiger-as-Northern relationship drama, as teen strumpet Judy Geeson splits him from Claire Bloom. Written by Edna O'Brien, directed by Peter Hall.

They Call Me Mr. Tibbs (1970) - Generic blaxploitation-with-class from Sidney Potter (sic).

Devil in the Brain (1972) - Dry Sergio Sollima family drama/semi-giallo with Micheline Presle, Maurice Ronet and Keir Dullea, but ace Morricone soundtrack.

L'attentat (1972) - Roy Scheider (in a cameo, essentially) and Nigel Davenport (as an American, really?) stand out like sore thumbs in this extremely French and therefore alienating conspiracy thriller from Yves Boisset. With Cremer, Piccoli, Trintignant...Gian Maria Volonte is the titular assassinated North African dictator, and Jean Seberg is unrecognisable. She could be any other dowdy, almost-middle aged faded Euro-starlet.

Two People (1973) - Overlong, empty, meandering Love Story of a divorce with Lindsay Wagner and Peter Fonda.

Leonor (1975) - Juan Bunuel does a medieval fantasy-horror with Michel Piccoli, Liv Ullman and Ornella Muti. It looks nice, but is slow, and trapped between art and schlock.

The Hunter will Get You (1976) - Jean Paul Belmondo and Bruno Cremer in a serviceable but repetititve chase-actioner.

The Buddy Holly Story (1978) - Despite being way too old, Gary Busey still convinces as Buddy Holly, even though it does reek of that very 70s faux-50s quality.

New Year's Evil (1980) - Family row dramatised as a telethon dramatised as a slasher.

Le Professionnel (1981) - Belmondo is a great, weary presence, but this is a confused film. It feels too classy to be an exploitation actioner, but there's sleazy elements i.e. the naked Anita Harris lookalike being tortured. Great soundtrack, even if it is mainly Chi Mai (Theme to the Life and Times of David Lloyd George).

Thief (1981) - Not exactly my cup of tea, but stylish, with substance, and feels aggressively modern for the era. Willie Nelson's kind of wasted, though.

Archangel (1990) - Experimental Guy Maddin WW1 weirdness.

60 - mainly ok.rued precisely

The Story of Alexander Graham Bell (1939 - b/w) - Standard biopic.

Untamed (1940) - Typical faux-Canadian romance with Ray Milland.

Watch on the Rhine (1943 - b/w) - Dreary wartime romance with Bette Davis.

Bedelia (1946 - b/w) - Margaret Lockwood Gainsborough-noir.

Under Capricorn (1949) - Found it dull. Basically Hitchcock doing an (Australian) western.

Joe Palooka in Humphrey Takes A Chance (1950 - b/w) - Slapsticky, unmemorable comic strip comedy from Monogram.

The Flame and the Arrow (1950) - Burt Lancaster shines, but this feels cheap and B-movie compared to his later swashbucklers. And it lacks the British character talent of the later films.

Ten Tall Men (1951) - Burt Lancaster in tedious foreign legion fare.

The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima (1952) - Religious propaganda lifted by a solid Frank Silvera performance.

My Cousin Rachel (1952 - b/w) - Hollywood Gothic bastardisation of Du Maurier with Richard Burton and Olivia de Havilland.

Plymouth Adventure (1952) - Glossy, insubstantial Puritan ship-soap with accurate but offputtin American accents galore.

Inferno (1953) - Basically an average western in the modern era, with Robert Ryan and Rhonda Fleming, by Roy Ward Baker. Its novelty was it was in 3-D.

Niagara (1953) - Dull, confused chase thriller around a campsite with Marilyn.

Guerrilla Girl (1953) - Intriguing, expressionistic but hapless-despite-ambition faux-Greek New York cheapie with Helmut Dantine as a Nazi. Radley Metzger was an assistant director.

The Bridges of Toko-Ri (1954) - Typical Korean War aviation propaganda.

Black Tuesday (1954 - b/w) - Again, watched this noir only cos of Edward G. Robinson, an actor who I like despite him being in films I mostly find uninteresting. I'm not a gangster man.

The Silver Chalice (1954) - Paul Newman hated this, his debut, a typical two hour plus semi-biblical potboiler, the 50s equivalent of a superhero film. Jack Palance is Simon the Pharisee. It's ludicrous, hard to take with an almost sci-fi, unrealistic smooth look. But it is camp. Also Lorne Greene's proper film debut (he'd been the voice of NFB newsreels for years). He brings gravitas as Saint Peter, and looks as old at 39 as he always would. Newman plays a heroic youth called Basil. Yes, how the Americans say it.

Betrayed (1954) - Generic Dutch-set war film with Clark Gable, Lana Turner, Victor Mature, an ancient-even then Wilfrid Hyde-White, much organ music, Ian Carmichael and Anton Diffring with a monocle.

Hell on Frisco Bay (1955) - Glossy but empty studio color crime film with Alan Ladd, Edward G. Robinson, Fay Wray and a young Aussie named Rodney Taylor.

Prince of Players (1955) - More early Richard Burton, this time as Edwin Booth, brother of John Wilkes. Padded out by Shakesperean recreations as tedious as the rest of the film.

The Glass Tomb (1955 - b/w) - John Ireland and Honor Blackman in generic carnival-set Hammer quickie.

The Left Hand of God (1955) - Tedious God-bothering with Bogie and Gene Tierney in China.
See also Satan Never Sleeps (1962) with William Holden.

The Ship That Died of Shame (1955 - b/w) - Despite the criminal subplot, this is an average marine war film with Richard Attenborough and George Baker.

Lust for Life (1956) - Not much interested in Van Gogh, sentimentalised too.

The Man Who Never Was (1956) - Decent, solid, above average British war movie with a convincing Clifton Webb. Lampooned by the Goons. Weirdly, Churchill is played by Peter Sellers' voice in this. Really beautifully shot. Oswald Morris as DOP.

Love in the Afternoon (1957 - b/w) - Generic Wilder, on a Monogram budget.

Sea Wife (1957) - Typical romantic melodrama of the era, with Joan Collins and Richard Burton.

Merry Andrew (1958) - Silly Danny Kaye circus musical set in a bizarre view of 50s England.

The Barbarian and the Geisha (1958) - Soppy colonial Japanese melodrama with John Wayne and sideburns. Up there with Phobia as John Huston's least.

The Journey (1959) - Deborah Kerr and Yul Brynner in a dull Hungarian Cold War epic. David Kossoff and Robert Morley pop up, as does "Ronny" Howard.

The FBI Story (1959) - 2 and a half hours of FBI expose with James Stewart. Almost an anthology, doesn't work with a weird gung ho family sitcom tone. Even the South American Nazi stuff doesn't work.

The Music Man (1962)- A certain kind of all-American musical doesn't gel with me in its Rockwellian perfectness. This is an example.

The Double Man (1967) - Dreary ski-spy thriller with Britt Ekland and two Yul Brynners.

Our Mother's House (1967) - Annoyingly chirpy-creepy story of some sinister kids who give their annoying "father", Dirk Bogarde what he's getting. Obnoxious kids headed by Pamela Franklin include Mark Lester.

Before Winter Comes (1969) - Tonally confused, nothingy David Niven-John-Hurt-Topol vehicle.

The Sicilian Clan (1970) - Typical solid Eurocrime with Delon, Gabin and Ventura.

Watermelon Man (1970) - This is an intriguing curio, but it doesn't work, because what was intended as a wrongheaded idea of a progressive studio comedy with a white comedian blacking up is turned on its head, by getting angry black man Melvin Van Peebles in, who turns in something not unlike what Robert Downey Sr. was doing at the time - an experimental satire. He gets Godfrey Cambridge to whiten up, but he still looks like an African-American, a light-skinned one, as a white racist who turns black overnight. It feels confused, as to whether it's a sub-Jerry Lewis studio comedy or what Van Peebles would do with Sweet Sweetback. If it was by a white filmmaker, the lead character, Jeff would reunite with his wife and perhaps turn white again, but here, he tears his family apart and then decides to go out on his own and become a proud black man. There's novelty captions and Paul Williams, and it feels

The Horsemen (1971)  - Typical Europudding turgidity with Jack Palance and Omar Sharif as Afghan father and son. Set in the present day, but doesn't feel it. Almost a modern Maria Montez film.

Klute (1971) - Sleazy and unlikeable, not my thing.

Murphy's War (1971) - Unlikeable Irish-in-Venezuela war film with a drunken Peter O'Toole.

Black Gunn (1972) - Below-average studio exploitation with Jim Brown, technically a British production by Robert Hartford-Davies.

Ludwig (-1972) - No, I didn't sit through the whole four hours. Why should I?

40 Carats (1973) - The Graduate Goes To Greece.

Brother Sun, Sister Moon (1973) - It looks nice, but clearly Zeffirelli is ogling star Graham Faulkner, who probably got scarred for life, and as a result, didn't have the career people expected. Within a year, he was guesting on BBC soap Angels.  Alec Guinness looks like Padre Pio.

A Touch of Class (1973) - Typical 70s romantic comedy, nothing new.

The Phantom of Liberty (1974) - Feels like a generic French comedy despite Bunuel.

Cry of a Prostitute (1974) - Henry Silva and Barbara Bouchet in  a grim, sleazy Eurocrime that goes very odd.

Lucky Lady (1975) - Liza, Burt and Hackman and an incongruous Michael Hordern in a terrible tropical Sting.

Section Speciale (1975) - Costa-Gavras is too clinical a filmmaker for my taste.

Padre Padrone (1977) - Lovingly directed rustic moping from the Tavianis.

New York, New York (1977) - It tries too hard to be MGM, and ends up looking too false.

Caravans (1978) - Michael Sarrazin, Anthony Quinn, Jennifer O'Neill as a fridged maiden, Christopher Lee in this relatively tedious pre-revolutionian Iranian Europudding scored by Mike Batt.

Thank God It's Friday (1978) - Tacky and insubstantial disco comedy with Jeff Goldblum and Donna Summer.

Orchestra Rehearsal (1978) - It's an intriguing effort, it breaks the wall, it descends into madness, almost a bit Goodies, but it feels as if Fellini was told by Rai to make a South Bank Show-type documentary on the arts, and it resulted in this. Released in the US by New Yorker Films. Saw it on the Arrow disc.

The Long Riders (1980) - A typical New Hollywood western.

Wholly Moses (1980) - A good cast fail to help Life of Brian USA.

La tragedia di un uomo ridicolo (1981) - Dry and unsatisfying alleged comedy by Bertolucci, with Ugo Tognazzi.

Night of the Shooting Stars (1982) - The Tavainis' rustic cinema at its best, still feels like an Italian anthology series, but it was coproduced by Rai.

Gorky Park (1983) - Weird accent from William Hurt. Stolen by "and Alexei Sayle" and Henry Woolf, and Rikki Fulton.

Malena (1999) - Was that a real insect they killed?