Elstree Calling (1930 - B/W) - Another television-themed revue, has scary giant cardboard cutouts, scary minstrels in glasses with skeletal bodies. deathly-looking colour stuff, and some of it is directed bizarrely by Alfred Hitchcock. Ok.ru.
A Connecticut Yankee (1931 - B/W) - Will Rogers' yokel sage hasn't dated. This has historically dubious Elizabethan sets, but there's some interesting clockpunk tech. Ok.ru heavily.
6 Hours to Live (1932) - Hoary temporary revival vengeance movie, despite a forceful Warner Baxter.
Dr. X (1932) - Basically a colour crime film with somevague mad science and Lionel Atwill tormenting Fay Wray. The Return Of Doctor X (1939) is even more gangster-like, where the film itself seems to be ashamed of Humphrey Bogart's ridiculous turn as a mad scientist.
La Fin Du Monde (1932 - B/W) - Gance's melodrama effectively a silent.
Men Must Fight (1933 - B/W) -Dieselpunk Wartime weepie. Not my thing. Okru.
Gold (1934 - B/W) - Weimar melodramatics about the uninteresting art of alchemy.
Ghost Patrol (1936 - B/W)-One of those weird B-westerns set in the present, Tim McCoy foiling some electric device. I'm not a westerns enthusiast.
Blake of Scotland Yard (1937 - B/W)- Dreary, tedious, un-English serial cutdown.
The White Disease (1937 - B/W) - Clinical Czech Karel Capek adap, fast but strident.
The Spy Ring (1937 - B/W) - Leisurely, boring spy thriller with Jane Wyman, padded out by polo.
NonStop New York (1937 - B/W)- Robert Stevenson does Grand Hotel in the air or a dieselpunk Airport. Monotonous melodrama.
The Gladiator (1938 - B/W) - Proto-Superman starring the gurning acquired taste that is Joe E .Brown, closest the US had to a Formby/Wisdom.
Bulldog Drummond At Bay (1937 - B/W) - Charmless drawing room mystery involving a robot plane.From the UK series of films, distributed in America by Republic.
Arrest Bulldog Drummond (1939 - B/W)- Ludicrous idea of Britain. From the simultaneously running Paramount/US series.
The Spy in Black (1939 - B/W) - Typical British period outing, but hey, Skelton Knaggs!
Television Spy (1939- B/W) -A film built on the novelty of long-distance telecasts. Dated badly. Features Anthony Quinn.
SOS Tidal Wave (1940 - B/W)- Poverty row Deluge with a ventriloquist subplot. Just a venture for stock footage. ok.ru
Sky Bandits (1940 - B/W) - Faux-Canadian Mountie science adventure. Basically just a cabin and cockpit.
The Invisible Woman (1940 - B/W) - Below-average slapstick screwball. John Barrymore plays the goofy scientist. ok.ru.
Time Flies (1944 - B/W) - Felix Aylmer as the Cushing Doctor Who's dad sends radio comic Tommy Handley to Elizabethan England, where he teaches Shakespeare Indian war chants. Yes,really.
Return of the Ape Man (1944) - Notorious tramp goes missing. The Ape Man is now a big Giant Haystacks-type in a little black dress.
Strange Holiday (1945 - B/W) - Claude Rains fights fascism. Sub-Capra.
The Invisible Man's Revenge (1944 - B/W) - Almost exactly like the Invisible Man Returns (1940 - B/W), but Jon Hall is no Vincent Price, and has less presence when visible. Ok.ru
El supersabio (1948- B/W) - I don't think Cantinflas has any real presence. He just floats into the background.
Counterblast (1948- B/W) - Typical postwar UK crime/paranoia thriller. Mervyn Johns gives a menacing performance.
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1949) - A bog-standard colour medieval epic with a nice prologue of Bing wandering about in a charmingly odd England, 1912.
It Happens Every Spring (1949- B/W) -Baseball comedies never translate abroad, even if you do cast Ray Milland.
Pandora and the Flying Dutchman (1951) - Faux-Spanish faux-Powell and Pressburger romance that almost captures the Archers spirit, but is quite unlikeable. Ok.ru
Donovan's Brain (1953- B/W) - Lew Ayres and Nancy Reagan star in a tedious noir-ish mad science playlet. ok.ru.
See also The Monster and the Lady (1944 - B/W).
Gog (1954) - Laughable "mobile computer" romp, interesting idea supplanted by the supposedly sinister cute robot.
1984 (1955) -Confused. Edmond O'Brien like a fat Richard Todd with learning difficulties.
1984 (1984) is dreary and grey.
Kronos (1957- B/W)- Merely a showcase for hardware.
The Unearthly (1957) - Hypno-dreariness.
The Astounding She Monster (1957) - Just a lass with eyebrows.
The Deadly Mantis (1957 - B/W)- A standard redo of the Thing with a cool beast.
The Night the World Exploded (1957 - B/W) - Just repackaged stock footage, again.
The Monster That Challenged The World (1957- B/W) - Dublin actress Audrey Dalton gives a standard performance for the era/genre. The best thing is the mollusc/slug-like monster.
Giant from the Unknown (1958 - B/W) - Tedious modern western with a conquistador.
First Man in Space (1959 - B/W) - Fauxmerican Quatermass. Best thing is the charbroiled monster design.
Teenagers from Outer Space (1959 - B/W) - Dreary thirtysomethings in jumpsuits.
Uncle was a Vampire (1959) - Sunny if baffling parody pairing Christopher Lee and Eurovision entrant Renato Rascel.
On The Beach (1959 - B/W) - Oh, so who's supposed to be Australian? Overlong.
The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961 - B/W) - Brrr...
Ring of Spies (1964 - B/W) - Bernard Lee stars in dreary home counties spying - the Sex Life of Sir Miles Messervy.
Pyjama Party (1964) - A typical Beach Party movie, ok.rued but manageable, but it has a wonderful turn by Elsa Lanchester, so it's not quite as worthless as Mars Needs Women (1967). Buster Keaton wanders about, dressed as an Indian.
002 Operazione Luna (1965) - Italian comedy unfunniness from the baffling Franco and Ciccio.
The Eye Creatures (1965) - Oh, god. The pains of completism...
Mutiny In Outer Space (1965 - B/W) - Misery and tedium in space.
Zontar Thing from Venus (1966)- Homemade Larry Buchanan incompetence.
Andromeda Nebula (-1967) Impressively mounted but ponderous Soviet spaceopera.
The Navy vs the Night Monsters (1967) - A neat idea, a schlockier version of the Thing is incompetently done. Set in an area that is both jungle and desert. Mamie van Doren pops up.
WOMEN OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET (1966) - John Agar again. Mamie van Doren is in the very different Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women (1968). This reuses the Dalek flying saucer-y ships from Mars Needs Women and the sets from Night Monsters, and edited by a George White. Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women, on the other hand is directed by Peter Bogdanovich for Corman, and reuses Soviet sci-fi footage, like the 95 per cent identical Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (1966), which has a nearly dead Basil Rathbone.
THE DEVIL'S MAN (1967) - Some nice design helps a mediocre masked-man super-antihero lark from Rome.
The Whisperers (1967 - B/W) - Cloying story of old age and loneliness dessed up in magic realism.
The Flim Flam Man (1967) - Depressing sub-Waltons/Sting dramedy with George C. Scot in terrible beige old age makeup.
The Reluctant Astronaut (1967) - Don Knotts does irritatingly goofy space antics. Weird to see Leslie Nielsen as the straight man in a comedy.
Yongary (1967) - Sub-Gamera Korean kaiju nonsense. Was it common to have dolls in wedding dresses in glass cases in living rooms?
The Madman of Lab 4 (1967) - Baffling Flubberesque French comedy, becomes a western.
Ne jouez pas avec les Martiens (1968) - Actually quite repetitive but attractively shot alleged comedy, shot in weirdly Irish-looking locations.
Mission Mars (1968) - Darren McGavin in the falsest looking sets of all.
Night of the Living Dead (1968- in colour!) Colourised, it robs it of eeriness and everyone looks dead.
Flesheater (1988) - A sort of spinoff from original zombie Bill Hinzman. This is basically a fan-film. Yokel yuppies with horrible acting skills get gored.
Countdown (1968) - Altman boredom. It's like being in mission control.
Salt and Pepper (1968)/One More Time (1970) - Terrible, smarmy, smug Rat Pack spy-comedy antics with Sammy Davis Jr struggling to find his own action vehicle, and the intolerable Peter Lawford, initially aided by Michael Bates and Ilona Rodgers. Has numbers staged by Lionel Blair., which highlight Salt and Pepper alongside an eyepatched John LeMesurier, but the sole moment of One More Time, a tiring country house mystery is a crossover with Christopher Lee as Dracula and Peter Cushing as Baron Frankenstein.
Also watched Lawford in undistinguished bodice-ripper The Hour of 13 (1951 - B/W). Michael Hordern billed below Leslie Dwyer. Ok.ru.
Astro Zombies (1969)- There is an artistry by Ted V. Mikels, no matter how-near unwatchable this gets.
Seed of Man (-1969) - Marco Ferreri artiness about a large house by the sea. Sexist arseholery. Actually, this was a rewatch.
It's Alive (1969) - Godawful Larry Buchanan nothingness.
Hello Down There (1969) - Dated even for the time sub-Disney underwater Jetsons with Tony Randall, Janet Leigh and Richard Dreyfussssssss. Heavily ok.rued
The Curious Dr. Humpp (1969 - B/W) - Grotesque voyeuristic South American sleaze.
The Body Stealers (1969) - Awful Tigon space-spies. Robert Flemyng, Allan Cuthbertson, Neil Connery, Maurice Evans, George Sanders and Patrick Allen look on as aliens in a Dalek spaceship attack.
Zeta One (1970) - A porn-version of the above from Tigon. Charles Hawtrey and James Robertson Justice star in this woeful Bond-vs-Alien hookers nonsense. Hero Robin Hawdon is like a charisma-free melding of Peter Bowles and Ian Ogilvy. Ok.ru.
Toomorrow (1970) - Dingy, sleazy yet family friendly Harry Saltzman-produced vehicle for a non-existent manufactured pop band including Olivia Newton-John who are recruited to save the universe via music by alien grey Roy Dotrice.
Crimes of the Future (1970) - Arty Cronenberg student twaddle.
Hauser's Memory (1971) - Basically a feature length Night Gallery.Though actually shot in Europe and not on the lot.
Crucible of Terror (1971) - Surprisingly watchable Mike Raven vehicle. Has James Bolam as the hero. It feels rough, but the Cornish locations look nice, and compared to US horrors of a similar standard, it is entertaining.
The Manipulator (1971) - Mickey Rooney wears a massive nose and hat, looking like a Reeves and Mortimer character.
The Pied Piper (1972) - Have I reviewed this already? Proto-Gilliam folkie quackery from Donovan and Demy.
Chariots of the Gods (1972) - German "documentaries" based on Von Daniken's theories. Fascinating artefacts.
Love Me Deadly (1973) - A surprisingly mainstream cast headed by Lyle Waggoner enact sleazy necrophiliac awfulness.
The Single Girls (1974) - Godawful Tijuana bar-like sexcom slashing.
Open Season (1974) - Grim Deliverance-type with heroic rapists. Odd tone. Rubbish.
Dark Star (1975) - Finally re-bought the DVD. Claustrophobic hippy nonsense. A for effort. It is a student film that just happens to be by John Carpenter.
Hustle (1975) - Typically dreary Aldrich murder thriller.
BloodBath (1976) - Amateurish nonsense by Joel M. Reed that somehow has Harve Presnell (slumming it post-Paint Your Wagon in a slump that didn't recover until the 1990s) and pre-Remington Steele Doris Roberts.
Salon Kitty (1977) - Dreary, opulent Nazi kink.
The Worm Eaters (1977) - Ted V. Mikels' Casual-fonted horribleness, surprisingly close to John Waters.
Hurricane (1979) - Mia Farrow fails to convince she is a virgin. DeLaurentiis surprisingly bores. Ok.ru.
Ravagers (1979) - Finally watched this after struggling with previous attempts. Richard Harris, Art Carney, Woody Strode, Seymour Cassel and Ernest Borgnine in a post-apocalyptic hicksploitation actioner. It's another disappointment, all on a backlot, like the Ultimate Warrior. Harris moans, wearing a niqab. I'm sure the dam from Battle for the Planet of the Apes turns up. It feels oddly Canadian. Harris does a bad American accent, sounding like an Irish radioDJ. He's a bit Tony Fenton.
Simon (1980) - Dreadful sub-Sleeper. Alan Arkin is duped into thinking he is an alien via a giant phone.
Io e Caterina (1980) - Baffling comedy with Alberto Sordi and Rossano Brazzi. Edwige Fenech is a fembot.
Savage Harvest (-1981) - Bland, unexciting version of Roar, with Tom Skerritt fighting off lions in wigs. Is very TV-ish.
Heartbeeps (1981) -Bernadette Peters and Andy Kaufman as robots fall in love,scored by John Williams whose score is far too good for such a bit of ill-advised nonsense. Being by Allan Arkush, Woronov and Bartel pop up.
Visitors from the Galaxy (1981) - Average Yugoslavian family sci-fi, with unusual alien designs.
The Incredible Shrinking Woman (1981) - Who thought this was a good idea? Not Lily Tomlin, even. Why is the theme "Galaxy Blues"? Why is there a gorilla?
Supersnooper (1981) - Reasonably well-directed, amiable Terence Hill vehicle, maybe having Sergio Corbucci and Ernest Borgnine adds.
Jekyll and Hyde... Together Again (1982) - Rewatch. Unfunny vehicle for "comedian"/stoner Mark Blankfield. Has a strange detour into a backlot London, ruled over by a male Queen. That's the kind of joke. George Chakiris appears as himself.
Swamp Thing (1982) - Like a terrible jungle action film with a creature. Louis Jourdan chews the scenery. The most far-fetched thing is that Louis Jourdan. disguised as Don Knight can do a Mancunian accent.
Return of Swamp Thing (1989) - Terrible, not boring but terrible.
Crosstalk (1982)- Bland Aussie cyberthriller.
Paradis Pour Tous (1982) - Baffling Alain Jessua comedy-drama about a human experiment.
Blade Runner (1982) - It looks nice, but can't decide what it is about. Existential androids dine, as Demis Roussos sings.
Psycho II (1983) - It feels like a TV special. Down to the beige watered down slasher-ish bits. Only the weird bits with the cleaner remind that this is Richard Franklin.
Starflight One (1983) - Glossy but dull Airport in space, released after Airplane II in cinemas in Europe.
Testament (1983) - PBS roots are obvious in this schmaltzy suburban American Threads.
House of the Yellow Carpet (1983) - Pedestrian 80s giallo.
WarGames (1983) - Glossy but aimless teen-hacking shenanigans. John Badham directed the equally glossy but empty Blue Thunder (1983) the same year.
The Man With Two Brains (1983) - Just another dreadful 80s horror/sci-fi parody.
Prisoners of the Lost Universe (1983) - Terry Marcel's Anglo-South African sword and laser silliness.
Yor The Hunter from the Future (1983) - At times hilarious, at times irritating Italian TV/comic book sword and laser nonsense.
Hercules (1983)/The Adventures of Hercules (1985) - Cannon /Lou Ferrigno sword and planet peplums by Luigi Cozzi.
Sex Mission (1984) - Polish StarMaidens.
Impulse (1984)/Warning Sign (1985) - Both bland, glossy 80s takes on the Crazies.
Lorca and the Outlaws (1984)- Genesis/Jim Diamond-scored British-Australian spacey post-apocalyptic space schlock from Roger Christian. Deep Roy in a starring role, plays a childen's teaching/entertainment robot. Yes, he's the Peking Homunculus again.
Wheels of Fire (1985) - The only light in this dreadful Filipino Mad Max is the oddly jubilant faux-Williams score by Chris Young.
Light Blast (1985) - Duff Erik Estrada-Castellari actioner.
DARYL (1985) - Schmaltzy, feels cheaper than it is. Michael McKean seems to be parodying a sitcom dad.
Titan Find (1985) - Alias Creature. Has Wendy Schaal as a lead character named (Elisa)beth Sladen. Another character looks like Rachel off Blade Runner. Klaus Kinski's character is called Hans Rudy as as a reference to HR Giger. Yes, this was made by nerds.
Trancers (1985) - Better than I remember. But still cheap, unatttractively shot and pedestrian.
Weird Science (1985) - Fuck off, John hughes. Why is there a weird monster in this?
Bullets Over Broadway (1994) - Weird to see 90s Jim Broadbent in a tedious Woody Allen nonsense.
Kol Mil Gaya (2002) - Epic Bollywood remake of ET, though having the lead be a 30-year-old developmentally disabled schoolboy is odd.
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